significant empires.

2010-12-29T19:40:00.002+08:00

#10000006,

Silence is better than being hurt a million times. The heart does hurts with those harsh words but i rather play dumb than knowing what the meaning means or is it really refering to me.
So i gave up on every little thing in life.

* heart breaking *

p/s: goodbye.

2010-12-03T02:00:00.001+08:00

I'M GOING TO LET THIS BLOG ROT AND DIE.

BECAUSE I'M NO LONGER USING THIS.

HAHAHAHAHA !

2010-11-05T12:16:00.002+08:00

Happy Deepavali,

Happy Deepavali to all you people, indian or not just celebrate it together with happiness.
Because i feel like celebrating it.

:D

Semangat oi !

Duniya Mein Kitni Hai Nafrate.

p/s: mohabbatein.

"it'sallaboutlove."

2010-10-31T11:17:00.002+08:00

Trying to be on the Top,

It is early in the morning today.
(:
I feel like making a breakfast date, anyone free ?
HAHA !

Trying to be your very best in cooking.
Finding right recipes and ingredients.
To make you fall in love with it.

I feel like i'm going to be sick soon.
)':

p/s: suka sama pelangi.

"itudiakandakenawakenabeb,bodohnyabudak."

2010-10-24T02:56:00.001+08:00

Sudden attack,

I MISS MY FAMILY BONDING, SO BADLY.

p/s: mana pergi itu semua ?

"thelittlethingsthatwemissthemost."

2010-10-15T01:26:00.002+08:00

Incomplete,

Something is incomplete to complete my day today, that's why i'm not bringing myself to bed.
Because i couldn't sleep.

Things happens for a reasons or reason.

and i can't keep draging myself to be mad at you.
i'm sorry.

p/s: no bed today.

"whenyou'remaditseemsdifferent."

2010-09-25T15:53:00.002+08:00

Moon and Cakes,

When you're happy, life seems everything to you.
Because happiness is the only reason that makes us feels better no matter how hard or easy is it.
There will always be a rainbow after every rain and i do have those rainbows everytime my rain stops.
And it feels pleasant to live in this world.

I look forward and i never want to look back.
Because i love my life now.

(:

People makes me smile and this shows how much they care and love for me.

I love everyone who makes me happy and make me realise that life have to move on.
I love you guys and girls.

To those who often make me cry, i'll say goodbye.

is there anyone like you can make me happy ?
and they answer is, Yes.

p/s: goodbye sorrow, hello life.

"therainbowwillkeeponshiningifwehavefaithinit."

2010-09-14T03:47:00.000+08:00

SEPERTINYA HIDUP KU SUDAH TIADA MAKNA NYAA,
BAEK SAHAJA AKU MATI.

2010-09-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

I hate goodbye,

I think i'm about to get insomnia.
I couldn't sleep.

D':

Di dirimu aku menemukan,
yang mencintaiku, yang menyayangiku.
Di dirimu aku ketakutan, kau biarkanku.
Kau tinggalkanku.
Bila kamu tak lagi denganku, ku tak tahu apa tuk jalani hidupku.
Bila memang kau pergi dari dariku, tak ada lagi di dunia ini.
Mengertikah kau siang malam ku, dan tangis tawaku.
Kau semua hidupku.
Pandang aku pandang lah hatiku, aku tak mampu melangakah tanpa mu.

Bukan ku tak punya harga diri tapi dirimu begitu berarti.
Kaulah nafasku engkau harga diriku, mengerti aku.

p/s: my pride is you.

"comebackwillyousomeday?"

2010-09-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

Jealousy in people,

Ofcourse people do get jealous, even sometimes for no reasons.
Because you thought that other people are much more greater, prettier, nicer or cuter than you.
You began to think that your boyfiee could fall in love.
This is jealousy.
This is what we fight for love.

To be jealous is because you don't want lose the love.
But trust became an issue after that.

And fuck shit.

You began to feel shit on yourself, mad and even frustrated.
You couldn't sleep at night.
Everything is a fucker.

May i ask, those girls do you know them ?

p/s: aku cemburu.

"iwanttoridetherainbowstogetherwithyou,willyou?"

2010-08-26T00:50:00.002+08:00

Everything felt like its over,

But eventually not done with.
Sometimes when you depends on someone, you don't realise it.
And when you start to realise it when things are not the same anymore.
Things are drifting apart and i don't seem to know you anymore.
Somehow for me, everything nowadays change.

Sometimes it's hard when we depend on people and don't.

Who are you ?
Who am i to you ?
What is us ?
Where are you ?

i'll just pray for the best of us.

Life is hard when you make a small mistake that could shame others.

p/s: like there's no more us.

"iseemtotrembleandbreakdownnowadays,ithurtseverysecondsididthat."

2010-08-21T00:59:00.002+08:00

Up and downs,

Its been 2 month and 6 days we're together and we've been through a lot.
And i really mean, a lot.
But still i'm hanging on and we're staying strong together.

ilovemymohdal-aminbinabdulsamad.

Together we stay strong and go through everything.

Whatever happens is always a lesson for us.

p/s: loved.

"demicinta,kupertahankan"

2010-07-30T22:34:00.002+08:00

No words can describe,

We've been through a lot this days. We've been through the toughest moment we could ever imagine.
But still, we are staying strong right ?
No matter how big ego both of us are, i do love you no matter what.

The truth hurts but the lies is the worst part ever.

p/s: love can't be judge.

"whenifelttheworldfallingapartbecauseofus,iwouldratherholdonthanlettingitgo."

2010-07-23T00:29:00.002+08:00

Not into typing no more,

I may not be active in updating blog anymore.
I may not be posting about how i feel or thoughts here anymore.
I feel like there's no privacy so i'm back to hands on which is writing.

And oh, papa is going overseas today morning.
I'm going to miss him even if its only for 3 days.

And to Natasha Andiny Dewi Putri, take care at indonesia ok ?
Hope opah is ok there.
I love you.

To NurulAin, i miss you much.

Bye, so long fuckers.

p/s: one love.

"whatisdoneisdone"

2010-07-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

I wish upon the moonlight,

A very special day of mine will be coming real soon.
I have a wishlist that i want for my birthday but i'm not expecting anything much.
Ok, here's the list.

Twinkle twinkle little moon, how i wish i could get all of this.
HAHAHAH !

. Samsung Corby Pro. ( red )
. The new camera that will process instant photo. $199
. Big cookie monster.
. Cookie monster Tee's.
. Meet up with friends, close friends, bestiest and baby on birthday.
. Brother and sister celebration.
. I want eat at sakura.
. I want to be the happiest girl on my birthday.

That's the end of my wishlist.
I know i must be crazy to have all of this.
But how i only wish.
:D

Seriously i miss everyone.
):

p/s: 7 more days.
"iloveyounomatterwhatbreakusthrough"

2010-07-04T14:45:00.002+08:00

Third time and its hard,

Totally, i'm surprise with everything.
It had just ended, my world war 3.
In one week straight we've been fighthing.
A big one.
And, i know some part was my fault.
But some part was you, who kept on blaming that you're not perfect.
So fuck care.

All i did was cry and cry and cry.
I didn't even sleep today.
I couldn't put my head to rest.
I can't put my mind to peace.
My heart is aching so much that i couldn't even feel the pain.
The pieces every where.
And some pieces dissapear, lost just like that.
See how hurtful i may get.
I'm fragile, vulnarable but definitely maybe naive for you.

This third time seems the hardest to apologise.
I need time, space.
If it was the second time, i don't mind i can give it a chance.
But its been thrice this way.

never could imagine we can be like this.

I'm out of words already, i'm speechless.
All i can do now, is kept all this things inside and keep it deeply.
Because some of my feelings i don't like showing where else i love keeping it.

if i can rewind back time, i would love to rewind it.

i'm so in pain.

p/s: a future without fight, how i wish for.

"notalwaysyouwhofeelsthatway,metoo"

2010-06-29T16:40:00.002+08:00

A word that always been said,

Sorry was the only word i can think of.
Sorry was the only word i had been saying to you and myself.
I blame myself for everything that happened.

I'm sorry.

We are not the same like we used to.

D':

God must hate me.

p/s: apologise.

"ican'tstopblamingmyselfaboutus"

2010-06-25T20:07:00.002+08:00

Anger but not revengeful,

Well a very big ' Hello ! ' to readers out there.
Its been quite long i didn't update my blog.
Well, lets blog about today's routine.

First, my whole flat was electricity cut off to repair our wires.
For me its ok, i don't mind at all.
It's from 8.30am to 5.00pm.
Luckly water supply wasn't cut off.
I went to showered and get ready to go out to gym with my aunt.
Suddenly, when i walked out from my house i saw my plants all been stacked up like nobody buisness.
I was like, " waaaah ! kanina ! "
Looked at the china worker feel like throwing vulgarities to them.
Luckly my brother plant was alright, except for mine. CIBAI HORR !
I want a complain i really want a complain.
Fucker sia all this workers.
NO BRAIN !

I feel so angry like i can totally punch all of them in one go.
But its ok.
My plant die, that workers face also die.

Angry horrrr who not angry, si beh kanina.

I'm craving for burger king but mum keep on making excusses.
Making stupid excusses. Don't want help buy its ok.
):

What a fuck life i have, i hate it super hate.
Everything that she wants, she gets it even when she's tired.
For her child, fuck not even a help can be done.

Just forget it, i want 28 june, 5 july, 14 july and 15 july to come very very fast.

p/s: anger wasn't my game, it's my attitude.

"whenimissyouiwillalwayscryoutyourname."

2010-06-16T01:41:00.002+08:00

Sorry but bringing up old stories won't work,

A very well fuck you to all of you people.
Cheers to fuckers and suckers.
Yesterday, some people make my mood swing very moody.
I swear, if i can really beat up you guys. I've beaten up you guys already.
If i do that don't ever show me your sorry butts to my face because i will spit on it and say, " FUCK OFF ! "
Try messing with me, you'll get the wrong person to mess with.
No pain, no fun.
Try me.

Haaah ! About all those fuckers, there are just some dogs running around Singapore.
Making this country so dirty.
Malay say, " sampah masyarakat. "
(:

I rather type about something else than typing about losers like them.

Well, about this baby girl of mine she's turning 17 this month.
Gosh, baby i brought you something (:
Wait for your present alright ?

Talking about her, i missed taking good care of her.
I missed being with her the 22/7 hours.
I missed seeing her laughter and movements.
Baaaah ~ Baby girl i so miss you damn much.

):

A lot of things happen in life now.
Here there, left right.
Haish ! Fuck life.

Ahmad Zulfieqa,
I know you're trying your best to help sharul to get back to me but i can't.
Love can't be force and now you know who i am with.
I just don't know laa, i just hate him in a way.
But, i'm trying my very best to help you.

everyday all i know is i want to glaze in your eyes, telling you how much i missed and love you.

p/s: 15th

"uoyevoli"

2010-06-12T16:36:00.002+08:00

When it's bitten it hurts,

Sometimes i wonder, why is everyone so busy.
Leaving me alone at home with nothing to do.
Sometimes, it hurts seeing empty rooms which was suppose to filled up with people.

Abang is busy with work.
Mother is always busy with work and occasions.
Father is busy with work and always over time.

So i left alone at home.
):

Bored.

That's why i often go out.

No money no die.

p/s: too much space.

"whenyoucamehereinlife,youmakemerealisehowthisworldisunfair"

2010-06-06T03:45:00.002+08:00

News as hot as pancakes now,

To the people who knows what happen in my relationship please don't bother to asked anymore.
What else is there to know since things already happen ?
Do i have to record what happen and show it to you guys ?
Must i ?
I shouldn't.
Not everything must be shared around people or even others.
Some things are private and can't be told.

So simply don't bother asking what happen.
When its the end, its the end.

People may see i'm not sad or anything but they don't know what happen to my world now.
Only a tiny bit of people knew and also not forgetting God.
Tell me who doesn't feel the pain ?
Even animals feel hurt when they fight each other.

A notice to all.
I may not be active in anything for now.
Blog or even slacking.
Thank you.

I need time and space.

alone.

p/s: not yours, anymore.

"letitbe,bygonesstaybygones"

2010-05-28T12:13:00.002+08:00

Public was amazed but we felt ashamed,

Vesak day is today.
Happy Vesak Day people.
Have a great holidays and enjoy yourself with pleasure not with violence.

And to baby,

I fart-king love you a lot, gemoook !

p/s: my love is yours.

"bringmetoyourarmsandletmestaythere"

2010-05-20T18:05:00.002+08:00

It affects the heart,

In life, there's ups and there's also downs.
When world has nothing to depend on, there's fight.
When world has something to depend on, there's arguement.
When will the world stop behaving this way ?
Let those people realise how hurtful this is.

People touch your heart and ask yourself, do you deserve to be in this world ?
People ask your god, when will he / she takes away your life ?

I know i don't.

D':

Can i be your baby, your worthty one ?

Cibbai, i hate my attitude for now.

What do you want from me ?

I'm sorry baby.

p/s: emotional.

"takeyourhandandjustslapmetowakemeuptellingyouthatiloveyou"

2010-05-11T23:16:00.003+08:00

Haters and hatreds,

Hello there readers, sorry for this dead blog.
Been busy and too tired to type or even switch on my lappy.

Why do God create this world with people who are full of haters and hatred ?
Why do God create us if we fight among each other ?
Why do God create people who loves to makes stories to make others fight ?
Why do God create people with the feeling of hatred among each others ?
Why do God create this world with having enemies around us ?

Oh God why ?
This world seems unfair with this kind of people around.
Why can't we just be friends and stop fighting.
When will this world be harmony without any fights ?

Kill here, violence there.
People stop fighting and put your hands together and be friends.

I HATE THIS.
FOR ME THIS IS FUCK - CRAPNESS LIKE MOTHER SHITTO !

I just don't feel like typing but i feel like punching people's face right now.
I'm totally pissed off with everything that is happening right now.

I'm tired of being too humble to people.
Being humble and they disrespect me for what.
I'm throwing away my good behaviour and put on my old behaviour.
No more, Fii good girl.
Play with me rough, you'll get twice of it back.

Sick and tired of being too humble.

FUCK ALL THIS.

p/s: fuck everyone in this world.

"youwillknowonedayhowmuchiloveyou"

2010-04-29T01:43:00.002+08:00

Time so fast,

Just now went out to City Square, seacrh for clothing and accessories.
Spent about $30 over ? (:
What a great day, enjoyed before we can't enjoy life anymore.

After City Square meet my beloved baby at punggol interchange.
This time, luckly 10 minutes late if not, i cut you into pieces and go fried your meat.
Went to City hall to meet up with Shah and Faiz which i went out just now to City Square.
Straight train to simei.
Heaven.

Baby injured his injured leg 3 times if i'm not wrong.
Again that boy really very stubborn, kill you then you know.
He went home first.
So i went home with shah and faiz to take shah sister from work.
Damn, i miss work.

Then home straight home, abang fall sick.
Luckly got buy him cooling water.

Get well soon abaaaang.
Sayaaaaaaang die.

Pictures of the DAY.

AIR MAX KIDS !
All the faces.
That's all.

Goodnight.

p/s: i love today.

"youandmewillalwayscollide,iloveyou"

2010-04-24T13:32:00.002+08:00

What if thoughts gets weirder,

Have you people ever think how would it be if tomorrow was your last day on earth ?
What would you do to tell the whole world and poeple that you're leaving ?
To seek for forgiveness for the last time.
To see and touch the faces of the people you love.
To tell them that you love them.

For me, its easy.
To type in this blog saying, if i were to go tomorrow. I'm sorry for the wrong things i've done.
To tell you guys, i love you so much even if we fought a lot or hurt each other without realising.
To tell the haters that i love you guys still even though you guys hated me.

Because when you are no longer in this world, people will start missing the things you do to irritate them.
The love you shared and the bonding you growth with each other.

So before anyone of your love one goes away, it's better you cherish them well.

People often change.

I'll be going out with my father later, a daughter day out since it's been so long i haven't go out with him.
A daughter who live without a father love.
What bad things he had done to me, he is still my Papa.
Because i know after this, i won't have a perfect family.

)':

Meeting love later.

p/s: stay with me and feel this heart beats.

"ilovethatlittlegemoookboyyofmine."

2010-04-19T00:14:00.002+08:00

Putting it first among the rest,

Just now work was tiring for overall but the closing was super fun.
First time in my whole life, i finish washing the trays and wiping them clean.
Good Fii.

Feeling tired but couldn't sleep.
I don't know why.
The crews just now was super duper awsome !

I love just now.
More of that time please.

I couldn't sleep because maybe i miss being with you this days.

We're lacking of quality time together right, love ?

p/s: time ?

"youbringmehopeswhenidon'twanthopes"

2010-04-15T01:26:00.002+08:00

I don't have to worry and breakdown,

I know you're there.

(:

Cinta itu abadi.

Cinta itu mulia.

Cinta itu setia.

Cinta itu ikhlas.

Love is truthful.

Love is not lies.

Love is faithful.

Love is sincere.

Love is Wonderful.

Candle light dinner, one day love.

:D

My one and only, mat sempit.

p/s: pills and pills.

"lovesickissick,iloveyoucan?"

2010-04-05T01:30:00.003+08:00

Life isn't fair,

Money does not equal to love.
People say money can't buy love or time.
They are right.

Hope crashes and feel like there's nothing else that i could do in this world.
Parents who can't even give time to their children even for just a minute.
They showered them with just money, how do you feel ?
You'll feel lost don't you ?

Where is the love ?
Where is the care ?

For a reason i feel lost, sad and anger.
I'm jealous with happy familes, seriously i do.
Only a brother that i could count on and his girlfriend.
Also friends, that's all.

How would a child feel ?

Somtimes i wonder, why did this ever happen to brother and me.

What a luck.

i'm pouring my heart out and nobody could hear it.

Sadly, i feel lonely.
I need someone who never gives up on me, supporting and motivating me.
That's all i need.
I may be rebellious but i'll realise fast enough my mistakes.
I need time and currently space.

Make me work till late at night so that i won't go home early feeling so shitty.

)':

Hug me anyone ? Accompany me until i'm fine.
Let me sleep in your arms anyone and make me feel that someone do love me.
At least give me a little hope.

Big brother and Sister you've been the very best for me.
Nurul ain and the rest of you 4 i need you.

Goodbye hopes.
Come back when i'm dead.

p/s: heart pain so painful.

"iwantyouback,amirul"

2010-03-24T02:46:00.002+08:00

A long road to run,

Its 2.58am in the morning and i'm still awake, staring at my lappy.
Days started to pass by so quickly and i don't have the time to fully enjoyed life.
Been missing my old friends, starting to missed them a lot.
Can i rewind back time ?
To spend more time like i used to with them ?
The Springfielders.

To torture myself to study and disturb those teachers.
To be there for them and stay strong just for them.
I miss those precious times that had pass by.
Just like that.

Can i have a month with you guys again ?
Lets have an outing.
I miss that so much.

Bring me back please.

When you just can't stop missing them you started to miss those times with them.
When you miss them so much you started to cry.

ITE is hard.
):

p/s: life change.

"withoutpleasurethereisnosatisfactions"

2010-03-18T00:51:00.002+08:00

Tick tock its ticking,

Early morning people, sorry for not updating.
Quite busy with stuff here and there.
Not much time to update all.

Alright, outing with brother and sister was awsome.
I repeat awsome.
(:

Lets say when we go out to town, we don't have to wear something real nice.
Just bring yourself down and enjoy the day there.
It's much better.

Okay, i got a music video for my family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBrbB-KrF64

Alright i'm done, later going for interview.
Hope there's vacancy, please.
I nees cash / money real bad.

Is it you or is it just, ME ?

p/s: tiredddd.

"neverseemstoworkoutbecausei'mstubborn"

2010-03-08T01:01:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it's time,

It's 1.08am in the morning and i'll be sleeping later.
Yesterday and the day before had a very great fun.
Happy birthday Jubaidah (:

Oh, i can't wait to finish up my own song dedicated to one boy.
A song that i will be singing will criticise you.
So be prepare to hear it one day.

Goodnight people.
Time for bed.
I won't be active in msn nor facebook or blog.
(:

p/s: pain.

"youleftmebrokenhearted,fucker"

2010-02-21T12:50:00.002+08:00

It's the end of us,

Last night call was so hurtful, the words that you spoke breaks my heart.
Break me down, feel like there's no more life on earth.
A friend isn't the same as someone special.
It's different.

I can't let go, how ?
Crying was all i could do.
Why must it turn out to be this way ?

First song for you, Muhammad Hanif Bin Jalil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOdHkPPaOmw

Second song, thank you Hanif.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yklXJmNIgLU

Third song, i'll still wait for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFcYZZZaQN8

And this is so heart breaking moment.
If only you can feel it.
I'm breaking down, so badly.

I'll wait for you Muhammad Hanif.

p/s: ending wasn't the best.

"youletmegoicryandi'llstillwaitforyoubecauseiloveyou."

2010-02-20T00:40:00.002+08:00

The heart cries silently,

If i could climb up a hill, i would do it and shout out a name.
A name that resembles, me. The other part of me.
Sadly, it's ending soon.

The heart shattered, broken.
Can you see it shattered ? Maybe no.
You're blinded with your own feelings.

I showered you with love yet you repay me with sorrows.
I gave you my fullest attention but you throw it away.
I gave you my heart but you torn it apart.

What else do you want from me ?
I laugh at my ownself for being stupid to not to think carefully.
I cried each time, thinking of it and still thinks that it was just a dream.

Stupid me.

This is so hard and the worst part is to let you go.
I can't but i have to, i have no other choices.
Your heart i can't cast a spell on it, it's you to choose.

I hereby dedicate this song just for you, Muhammad Hanif Bin Jalil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdhzJnL8BRs

You left a scar on my heart and each time i think of it, i kept on crying.
This heart is hurt, badly hurt by you.
All i can do now is cry and cry and cry because i can't force you to stay.
Love isn't a game.
It's a choice of our life time.
We depend on it, not used it.
How hurt do you want to see me ?

i'll still wait for you, no matter what.

p/s: hurt by you.

"cryingoveraspiltmilkwon'tdobutican'tstopcryingforgoodnesssake"

2010-02-15T11:25:00.002+08:00

Morning ducklings smells yucky,

Morning to all the people on the earth.
Its been so long i last post in the morning.
A lot of things are in my head.
How can i even be happy for just awhile ?

I'm being pressured and hurt all this time.
Should i do this or that ? I'm confused.
Should i or not ? I'm still confused.

People change so fast and i hate it.

I so wish i could hide like this kid, to avoid everything that happens.

half way of giving up.

But i can't give up, now.

p/s: this wasn't the way to be.

"andyoucamebackandisoinlovewithit"

2010-02-14T13:58:00.002+08:00

Special day without you,

It's 14 February and it's Valentine's Day.
A day for couple to celebrate together and be happy.
For those who are in a relationship or on the way of becoming one, Happy Valentine Day.
May your day today be a pleasant one.

I'm staying at home, since going out seeing couple just hurt me.
Rather stay at home and hear lion dance.

To brother, happy valentine's day may you and kakak pieja last long.
I love you, both.
Seeing you both happy makes me happy too.

i don't know what's wrong with us.
am i crying alone or are you crying too ?
because, i miss you.
where are you ?

A 50-50 feeling to dedicate this song to, Muhammad Hanif Bin Jalil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4d6miflepM

i've been crying for so many days.
imissUS.

p/s: no you.

"italwaysfeelslikeadeadendwithoutyou."

2010-02-09T21:01:00.002+08:00

A day so Great,

Had an outing with classmate.
Ite peeps, i love.
Went with Ahmad Zulfieqar, Muhammad Faiz, Muhammad Shah and Siti Nur Zulaiha with Anul.
To changi beach for our cycling activity.
Overall, it was awsome and i so love today.
Thanks guys.

the jiwe's.

I'm a happy kid, today !

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

p/s: happy and over joy.

"wearesonotstable,whenarewefixingUS?"

2010-02-07T23:01:00.002+08:00

And i hate this part,

Irritated.

p/s: just shut up.

"withyouorhimisadifference."

2010-02-03T00:05:00.002+08:00

When you feel guilty towards others,

D':

You feel like you don't want to came across this world.

p/s: )':

"willneverbeyourstar."

2010-01-31T22:52:00.002+08:00

Hanya sesaat,

Cuma mahu bergembira untuk sesaat sahaja.
Bukan lebih dari itu.

Mampukah engkau memberi itu ?

Perit rasanya hati ini.
Ingin ku teriak tetapi tidak boleh kerana aku telah terdiam diri akibat penjelasan mu.
Tidak ku sangka aku seperti itu, melukai hati kecil mu.
Aku memohon maaf jika kau tersinggung.

Bolehkah kita meneruskan semua ini dengan tega dan rela hati ?
Ikhlas dan kejujuran ?

Hanya sesaat bersama dan rasa gembira untuk seminit.
Kerana aku tak sanggup dengan keadaan begini.
Hampa dan hancur rasanya hati ini melihat engkau derita.

p/s: sakit hati ?

"maybenothnggoesrightwheni'mwithyou"

2010-01-31T00:43:00.002+08:00

Turned my day go upside down,

Sentosa on Saturday.
Went to beach fiesta which Ite people conduct ?
I guess so because that's what my teacher said.
Went there with my ite peeps.
(:

famulos amigos.

Fun fun fun, again please.

I miss this two person the most.

Sorry for not meeting up too often.
Meet up real soon.

As days goes by, somehow you started to change your attitude towards your friend.

My boy vespa is loved by Fii

p/s: happy giler.

"ifiloseyoumeansthatilosemyself."

2010-01-23T14:09:00.002+08:00

It takes time when we feel love,

I don't even know whether you people / readers miss my blog or not.
Since my last update was on the 6 of January 2010.
Woooooah ! Long sia.

Well, since i got some time to update let me update a short one.
Life has been great, busy with ITE's stuff.
Ite eats people time and i'm not kidding.

Everything is fine except for some things.
I'm not allowed to type it all out here because it won't be nice to let people see or read on your privacy life.
So the close one with me, you'll know soon.

AND I MISS EVERYONE.
)':

p/s: love ?

"takestimetofeellovedon'tyouthink?"

2010-01-06T21:51:00.002+08:00

It stills remain the same,

It's someone birthday today, he is turning 17 today.
Getting old real fast i see, next year license alright ?

Happy birthday, Muhammad Farid Bin Muhammad Shah.
May all your wishes and prayers came true.
Kawan tetap kawan.

(:

p/s: birthday.

"ilovetheway,youare"

2010-01-03T23:10:00.002+08:00

No Replacement,

Since school is tomorrow, i'm going to miss my last year 4B's.
I really mean it, i feel like crying and tearing myself apart so that i can be with them.
I want to be a part of them but somehow i have to go.
To a new enviroment and new studies.

To my 4B's,

this is a little note from Hafizah, your former classmate.
I'm going to miss you guys like hell and i'll be missing our times together.
The sour, sweet, bitter and sugary taste.
I won't be there to make funny attitude to cheer you guys up.
The hugs and kisses.
But promise me that you guys will study real hard to go to poly.
And remember i'll always keep our memories together because there won't be any replacement like you guys.
I love all of you, yes everyone.
This is goodbye, people.

D':

How i wish i can stop the time now just to be with you, guys.

but, somehow we need to go on our seperate ways.

p/s: memories last forever.

"bringmeupwithjustalittlelove,kf"

2010-01-02T01:13:00.002+08:00

A lie is harmful,

I always feel this way, empty.
Come fill me with love, someone.

p/s: spaces.

"padaakutiadaorangselainkamu,kf"

2009-12-31T01:39:00.005+08:00

A visit is something special,

Went to visit Nenek and Atok just now, i'm a HAPPY KID.
It's been so long, too long of not meeting them.
Really do miss Nenek cookings and she cooked Curry Daging, VERY HAPPY.

It's Thursday which means, Fitri is coming home soon from chalet.
Registeration on my New school, taik.
Meeting with Firrrrrrrrrr, HAPPY GILE BABI !
Pass something for AIN to wear for school, she don't even know this.
Sleep over at NENEK house, for 2 days ?
No more cigerattes, pffft.

AND COUNTDOWN LATER !
SAY BYE BYE TO 2009 AND HOLLA WELLO 2010 (:
New year, new school and everything is starting with a new chapter.

BUT,

I'LL BE MISSING MY 4B'S PEEPS.

D':

sobsobsob.

fat cheecks, pfffft.

Fitri if you're reading this, better.

you're being missed by me, so much and don't ask me because i don't know why.

p/s: happy and sad ?

"whenthetimecomes,itwilltellmewhotopick"

2009-12-30T02:39:00.003+08:00

Break it and i'll shut you up,

Look and stare at the clock, its already 2.53am and i'm still muching.
Currently, eating magie goreng.
After this go daily routine, smoke.
Then maybe, don't sleep because wait for abang ?

I eat like a pig ok, no joke.
Just now outing was fun, did cancel my plan but hey i cancel it for a reason.
I went shopping till i drop, actually not me but my jaws.
(:

This is what kakak said, " relief stress. "
And now, i'm happy.
Why ?
Going to be in good terms with Papa eventhough he is seperating with us.
Ibu knows the truth, can't lie any longer about the cigerattes.
I'm proud to own up.
Quiting if i can just for ibu.

Under void deck cats very noisy.
Apek and Nyonya cannot sleep i guess.

Before i end this, yesterday was wonderful.

AND,

SUMPAH, DON'T KNOW WHY I SUDDENLY MISS FITRI PINHEAAAD A LOT !

):

faster came home, pit.

i feel like a lucky child tonight.

p/s: thursday come quick, imy.

"satuduatiga,tidaksepatutnyakamularitinggalkandia"

2009-12-27T00:51:00.002+08:00

The clock is ticking real fast,

Soon 2009 is going to end.
Soon i'll be adapting to my new school enviroment.
Soon i'll be adapting to my new house area.
Soon i'll be adapting to not miss most of my slacking peeps.
Because soon, i'll be moving out ?

Before anything collide much worst, i want to run away for a moment.
Just for a moment.
Because no matter what, i want to stay strong.

The world spin much faster nowadays.
It gets tougher each day.
I don't want to be a little girl who always cries for such a thing.
No, no. I need to be strong and aim high.

All of this things is too fast for me.
Just spare me five minutes to kill these hatred.
Just five.

If i have a gun, i would shoot myself on the forehead.
And die just like that, without any goodbyes.
Because i don't like, goodbyes.

it's been one month and a day that i've been into you.
and this heart still remains the same, these feelings towards you.
why can't i fade this feeling away from you ?
because i don't want to fall in love with someone.
i don't think it's time for me yet.
but, this heart won't let me leave you even for a second.
this heart keeps on beating hard for you.
KF, i don't know why but i'm so in love with you.
)':

Make this stop, please.

I want go out since i'm recovering soon.
To town, to takashimaya to starbucks.
(:

I want to explore how beautiful this country is.

monday, please bring me here.

p/s: hadiran mu.

"tetapakanmenunggukanmu"

2009-12-25T23:09:00.003+08:00

How worst can it get ?

Well it has already been three days i'm stuck at home.
I repeat, 3 DAYS.
This tummy isn't giving me a chance to go out.
)':

I miss being with everyone already.
Especially, Nurulain, Fitri, NanaOzu and Amirah.
D':

Tummy please be good, i want to go out and meet my sweethearts can ?

so much.

p/s: sakit.

"keranaakurinduengkau"

2009-12-24T22:16:00.002+08:00

Back to the old days,

It's been nearly 2 days i've been seriously ill.
I'm too weak to go out to have a walk.
I don't know why but my body isn't strong.

This past 2 days i've been sitting at home, feeling so shit.
That's why i'm mia-ing soon.
When i recover fully, i'll be meeting you guys back.

D':

I hate being this sick ):

I need to go out soon, please.

p/s: very very sick.

"thedayswillcomewheni'mnotaroundwithyouanymoreiguess"

2009-12-23T06:58:00.002+08:00

Mia soon,

Running away is the best way to hide your feelings.
Let the knife shows how much it hurts.

D':

p/s: fuck my emotions.

"worldisn'tfair"

2009-12-22T04:00:00.002+08:00

Just one time,

Now the time is 4.25am and brother is still not home.
Just finish bakinlg cookies around 2.45am and i can't sleep.
Felt something weird is happening inside brother's room.
It's spooking me out. Fuck !
May Allah guide me through out this morning.

So just now in the afternoon went out with my Kak Pieja.
Went to eat and just roam around.
Met brother near Kak Pieja house and i swear that today was fun.
Not just fun but a memorable one too.
Gosh, i miss Kak Pieja already now.

I'm scared now, alone in the living room whereas the rest is soundly asleep.
Just that brother isn't home yet. I'm so scared right now.
So spooky, ya allah.
Cepat lah balek abang ! :/

feat. Kak Pieja

all of this is nice.

feat. Abang

Now, i'm inside my room hoping brother would come home soon.
This is so spooky.
I'm shivering now because of too scared.

abang faster !

p/s: i can't sleep.

"youandicollide,please"

2009-12-21T14:02:00.002+08:00

Because i felt you,

I may need a time break with life and myself.
I need to make things seems ok to me because now, life seem kind of bothering.
I need to get away from everything , i guess.
I want to run away from reality but i know i can't.
See all of this is so pathetic.
I need to regain my self confidence, back.

I feel like don't want to meet anyone or someone.
I just don't feel like.
But i want meet my Kak Pieja.
That's all i need, for now.

Sometimes things that you always wanted, you can't really have them.
So why pending hopes for something that can't be there with you.
Why hold on and never give up if you yourself knows that it will never come.

Simply because i'm stubborn.
D':

I NEED TO GET HOLD OF MYSELF.
I'M LOSING MYSELF.
WHY OH WHY SELF ?
D':

I'll be off to see whether life is really fair or not.

it has been days and days that i'm hoping to see you, again.
but sometimes i myself won't let me see you.
you are the only one i want, now.
i want to have you, to hold you.
to feel your love, not to be a stranger.
can i have that opportunity, mr kf ?

this really hurts me when i always feels that you are around.
there goes manje, missing and will never come back.
D':

life is so terrible.

p/s: cinta ?

"danakutetapakanterusmenunggukandirimu"

2009-12-20T13:34:00.002+08:00

Perfection is not everything,

What do you look in a person ?
Looks or their hearts ?
Because perfection can't go far if there isn't any kind heart in it.
Your heart plays the main role in a person, not appearance not perfections.

How much i appreciate friendship is like more than i appreciate myself.
Now i'm leaving them, the 5 superwomans in Springfield.
Nurulain, Natasha, Amirah, Ernie and Azilah.
You guys do your best in Sec 5 ok ?
Good grades and study hard for the future.
I'll be fine don't worry and i'm going to miss you guys too.

if only you could know how i feel about you, it's better.
it's already been the 24th day, i've been falling for you.
i'll have to stay strong still.

BESTFRIEND SUDAAAH PULANG KE SAYA (:
HAFIZHAFIZHAFIZ SOIDI !

Making cookies soon (:

p/s: bring me over to the moon, boy.

"canyouholdmyhandandblowmeakiss?"

2009-12-16T23:42:00.003+08:00

None is better than one, ?

Sometime things that you treasure, you may lose them.
Sometime things that you loved, it may lose too.
Sometime things that you always wanted, wasn't meant for you.

Sometime having friendships is hard, i do admit.
Sometime having a few, is hard too.
Sometime losing some or a few, is hurtful.

I just want you to pick up on my calls, i just want to get through you.
I just want you to reply every messages that i've sent.
Why oh why, friend ?

Why is there some space between us ?
When we are always so close to each other ?
What have i done to you, until you turned away ?

You seem like avoiding and it's the second time now.
You seem alright with the rest but why me ?
Why am i not treated like them ?

What have i done to make you this way.
Why is it so terrible ?
How hurt i may be cannot be compare to how hurt you treat me.
It's way much more greater than that.

I know you could never read my blog but to the people who's reading this, i appreciate it very much.
You could never want to lose a friendship, which you cherish so much.
You could never want to lose your bestfriend, anymore.
You could never want to have a friend turn into a stranger.

Am i that bad, being in this friendship Muhammad Hafiz Bin Saidi ?
Tell me, tell me once and tell me now.

D':

the pains, the cries, it just hurts so much.

i just don't understand why.

there's always a reasons to cry about and my reasons is about my friendship and you.

p/s: friends ?

"maythehappiestmomentslast."

2009-12-13T03:53:00.002+08:00

If it wasn't you, who then ?

It's 4.15am and i'm still not sleeping.
I'm still munching on my cup noodle and i'm exhausted.
Exhausted from baking some cheese muffins.
Now, i'm eating like one kind of hungry beast.
The stomach worms wants some food.
-.-'

Cook for me please someone ?
I feel like eating laksa, can ?
Or popiah, better.

I'm not going for soccer training later because i need to surprise someone after training.
Muzahaffar, get ready for you biggest nightmare. Ahahaha !
You've always craving for the cheese muffins right ?
Later yeah ?

Just give me this face with this expression, please.

hahaha !

if it wasn't you whom i love, who else ?
everyday, i felt like meeting you.
know why ?
because i don't have your number eventhough we are at the same team.
tell me, if it wasn't you why am i not looking back at you ?
because i'm shy and because i love you, KF.
i've always hope for you to get my number.
i've always pray to allah to have his will for trying to get you.
because without allah helps and will, i'm sure i can't do it.
i'm just waiting for one day.
that allah will do all this miracle turns to life.
it's the 17th today.
and i want to spend the whole day with you and the rest, again.

this heart will never stop unless it gets you and your love till death do us apart.
i promise myself already to love you even if hurts to.
i promise myself already to never stop loving even if you're not mine.
i'm willing to do anything for you.
one biggest wish of mine is just to have you and be with you till the end of my breath.

p/s: the only one i, love.

"itpullsmeawaywhenyou'renothere"

2009-12-12T01:56:00.002+08:00

My biggest wish,

Manje had been lost for nearly 5 days.
How i wish i knew where she has gone to.
I miss her more than anything.
Come home soon manje, please.
)':

Many stray cats look like manje but they are not manje.
Different so different.

It's nearly 16 days that i'm into you.
How do i say this, i'm just so into you can ?

i'm mad in love with you.

but, i won't get you.

p/s: sweetest as honey, bitter as salt.

"you'redrivingmecrazy,canyoumeetmehalfway?"

2009-12-09T01:01:00.002+08:00

My precious gem has gone, missing,

All this years, i've been keeping something precious in life.
A cat who has a heart and a mind like a human.
Who has always been my baby in this house.
Who always keeps me accompany.
Who always cheered me up when i'm down, who always loved me like no other.
A replacement wouldn't be the same.
She's different, she's so precious to me until i don't want to tell myself that she's no longer here.
I will always remember her.
This love will never fade.

For all this years, she has been the greatest cat of all.
She's the best among the rest.

I'm so hurt right now, CAN ANYONE FEEL HOW I FEEL NOW ?!
imissher.
I want to cuddle her before going to bed but now.
D':

Please come back home will you ?
I don't want let you go.
I don't want lose you.

precious gem.

COME HOME !
I NEED YOU, DON'T GO YET.
CAUSE I'M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE.

i've lost her.

p/s: manje.

"allahtakesawaythemostpreciousthinginlife"

2009-12-04T12:48:00.002+08:00

So little time left,

We may not know when's the world is going to end.
We may not get to see or say anything to our love one's before the world collide.
We may not get enough goods than sins.

But still, keeping secrets are human nature.
To keep the feelings and emotions to ourselves.

But, we must also know that there is little time left for us.
Maybe, tomorrow is our day that we die.
And, we don't have the time to tell our love one's any heart to heart talk.

Time is now precious, use it well.
But, people intend to neglect time.
They rather enjoy then being loved.

Put me to sleep and my secrets is safe with me.
Force me to tell and i'll seal it.
You can't buy my secrets like lollipop, it need trust and a lot of trust.

If there's only one day, i could tell you.
I would like to.

I missed robinson at RafflesCity and also Expo sales.
I missed pressing the cashier, i missed the smell of money, i missed packing.
Most of all, i missed my friends there the peeps.
Bring me back to those times can ?

I missed two human who are very close to me.
Whom i love to be with and spend time together.
Who i can rely on.
Who makes my normal day a memorable one.
Note this down, only Allah knows how much i miss you two.

<3

In every happiness there's also sadness.
In every love there's also hatred.
In every trust there's also lies.
In every " i hate you " there's also " i love you. "

It's already 4th december, when's the pay going to come ?
Must i burn down the building so they could pay up ?
I'm going to be a loan shark if they didn't pay up my pay.

it's been already 8 days of liking you.
i miss your voice, your dimple, your smile and everything.
i miss watching you play soccer being the forward player.
i don't want to say i'll wait for you but i'm going to say let's just pray for the best.
and allah knows the best for us.
just one thing i want you to do, stare at me for one more time.

Soccer boys, one more outing ?

p/s: 8

"showmewhattheworldhastoofferforfallinginlovewithyou"

2009-11-27T17:20:00.003+08:00

When i cried, the sky cried with me too,

Hiding in my room, holding on to my towel.
Tears falling down, telling myself i can still endure.
To mend a broken heart with hatred is hard.
Saying a simple ' sorry ' seems so hard.
Everyone is after him, is he so great ?

I'm sorry that i lied to you, saying i was fine whereas it hurts.
I'm sorry i didn't have the guts to talk things out.
But i'm doing fine, trust me on this.
I'm trying my very best to let everything go.
For the better me, i'm enduring every pain i felt.
And this post is especially for Nurulain, i'm sorry that i lied a white lie to you.
But trust me , i'll be fine.
Soon or sooner.

Do i have to say this ?
I'm moving on to someone who is good at soccer.
A better person i knew.
A greater guy who has everything i want.
So Ain, see i'm fine and i'm moving on.
You don't have to worry.
All i know right now is i miss you a lot and i love you more than any guys love you.
Will you be there when i'm happy nor sad ?
And forever ?

Lastly, i'm sorry.

it's true.

i know i have dive too deep in the sea until i found myself drowning.
30th please come fast.

p/s: Nurulain Bte M. Ali.

"hidupinihanyasatukalisahaja"

2009-11-25T00:43:00.002+08:00

I'm so badly down,

Geeesh~ Thanks bacteria, now i'm down.
About to get a fever and oh maybe down with a flu. ini sungguh baik.
Sheeesh ! Hope nobody disturb me for tomorrow or maybe later.
I need my rest and beauty sleep for 24 hours. So don't wake me up people.
Everything doesn't seems and feel right. I need a doctor or maybe this one is better.

i need a superman, man.

Pay is like fish, wait till end of this fucking month for just my fucking pay.
This isn't fair and of course i'm so fucked up.
All plans for november is cock up. Feel like killing them !
Whatever is it, i miss something really bad.

i miss playing soccer on soccer field.

Before i end my setupid post for today let me just wish myself and Mr Nawawi for our, 2 month of friendship.

BESTFRIEND DOKKK !

(:

And last but not the least,

yes, youu.

30th please come fast.

p/s: mr dimple.

"bringingmyselfupdoen'tmeanifallinlovewithotherguys"

2009-11-20T01:49:00.002+08:00

Done and can't be UNdone,

tell me, he is handsome.

Sezairi Sezali is one hot hot heat stuff i tell you.
His voice is superb ! Urber super duper POWER.
I want Sezairi to be the next Singapore idol.
He is cool enough, he has his own style.
I like the way he present himself on stage.
Sezairi Sezali, you can make it !
I love the way he make me moved.

People do keep secrets don't they ? They also keep hatred and sorrows right ?
Sometimes they rather kept quiet than voice it out right ?
People need their questions to be answered, sometimes.

I need an angel or a fairy to guide me through this dark night.
A moon and stars to shine my path at night.
I need a wishing well to wish something that my heart long for.
I need a shooting star to make everything real.

Careless, i make myself suffered with all this emotions.
I should stand up and not fall off.
Lesson is always learned.
Let go of someone you love, if it comes back to you that means it's yours.
If i doesn't that means it was NEVER yours.
And last but not the least, what goes around comes around.

It's late at night and i miss youu.
How ?

I wish upon the wishing stars, wishing that you're here beside me.

When i miss youu, i'll always called out your name.

p/s: let go and observe.

"seandainyaduniainiterakhirakuakankatakanyangakucintakepadakamu"

2009-11-18T02:31:00.002+08:00

Bitter sweet of chocolates ?

Isn't this sweeeeeeeeet ?

I find this car sweet enough for me.

Cool-to-da-max-ico !

Ouuuh, how i wish i was already 18. pfffft !

I want this car, i don't care.

Die die, mati mati, must grab, mesti mahu nyaaa !

>:(

It's 3.05am and i'm still awake whereas i need to get ready by 6.30am later.

Morning jog with childhood friend.

Life has been back to basic like how it used to.

I really need a job, to support myself.

When a kid lost its sweets, they cry.

How about a girl lost her heart ?

Babies cry when they are far away from their mommy.

How about a girl who is left alone ?

How would you feel when you tried to give up but you don't want to ?

How would you feel if sacrifise is better than being hurt ?

How would you feel if you are bothering others ?

I feel, SHIT.

)':

Do you people think your life won't be complete if there's no soulmate ?

I think, lima puluh - fifty fity cents uhh.

my life isn't complete if there's no, youu.

we became bestfriend, i miss youu.

come and go, eyy ?

Di antara kalian.

To those who are working for later on, all the best.

For those who is still sleeping at noon, congrats !

For those who feel so shitty, go bath then sleep uh.

For those who can't sleep, go cry.

For those who are crying, don't forget to wash your face with your tears.

For those who are still schooling, study ayeee ?

For those who sleep for only a few hours, i salute you.

Ok, i'm done and ohh star star upon the sky grant my wish so that i could fly.

Cinta dan hati, pulang laah.

D':

p/s: i need back my broken heart.

"it'sfragilesoi'mlearninghowtohandleitwithcare"

2009-11-13T12:05:00.002+08:00

A box of cigarettes don't cure pain hearts,

Goodmorning people, oopssz i mean noon.
Today i feel so lethargic.
Tired so tired, i can feel my legs falling apart already.
Well currently i feel like going late to work again.
I don't know why.

Well i would like to say Thank You to my Patner since yesterday i didn't say that.
Patner, thanks for yesterday.

16 November, please come fast.
i miss a lot of people already.

Rivers don't move without it flows.

So i won't move without you telling me to.
Ain told me to move on without you but how to ?
You, her, what ?

Today is Friday the 13, so customers don't make me mad if not i'll turn to a beast.
Haha !

Da, mula die nye merepek.

cinta pergi dan hilang, tetapi dirimu tetap ku ingati.
mungkin masa ini adalah masa untuk ku berkata,
selamat tinggal cinta untuk selama-lamanya.

And i know, you won't be coming back.
Everyday when i think about this, it breaks me down.
How can i even look up at people and say i'm fine ?
I've been covering my face with a mask and it's breaking soon.
Tell me how much longer must i pretend ?
You are already gone and i'm still here thinking you would come back.
This is so wrong.
Where has your heart go boyy ?

D':

Malas nak pergi kerje.

p/s: isn't fair, is it ?

"babyboyyisnolongerbabyboyy"

2009-11-12T12:11:00.002+08:00

Crushed ?

It's seems so long i last updated, i'm busy with work and today i feel so lazy to pick my ass up and bath for work.
What the hell. -.-'
Superman / Patner at work has been stolen yesterday. ):
Luckly i was OFF, if not i think i cried already.
Pity Ain for that shitty feeling, cheer up baby.
Weapon nari weapon.

Upon the stars, i swear i miss NanaOzu.
16 November, i promise you.
)':

No more babyboyy, now friendboyy.
What's the difference anyway ?
A lot.

how i wish today isn't a bad day.

p/s: blow me a kiss.

"mysupermanisstolenbymanypeople"

2009-11-03T18:41:00.002+08:00

Silence is Better,

Sometimes when problems happen, we just need to kept quiet.
Why are you this way ?

Black guys are Hot.
White guys are Superb.
Chocolate and brownish guys are Fabulous.
But you are perfectly Excellent.

Sometimes when you think that the person you missed, misses you back but eventually the person who you don't miss, misses you more.

Why are you acting so strangely towards me ?
What mistakes have i done to you ?

Tell me now, what must i do ?

All i needed now is having babyboyy♥ by myside.
D':

p/s: why.

"supermancan'tflywithouthissuperpowers,batmancan'tfightwithouthisstrenght."

2009-11-02T02:26:00.003+08:00

Further more, it's nothing much,

Facebook advice for today is, " Choose to love and be loved. "
But what if, i choose and it can't be loved ?
What's the point by choosing if it's not for loving ?

This happens when you give yourself too much space.
You intend to over limit yourself.
What's the point anyway, having and being in a relationship ?
Tell me couples, tell me lovers.
Why do we need to love if in the end, it just hurts.
I don't understand, what's the point ?

Do you people prefer to choose to be big or small ?
I prefer to be small, be bullied by or even been burned.
You can't be perfect nor you can't be imperfect.
What for act big if you, yourself are sensitive within any limits ?
Being small does not mean you always look down on yourself.
It's to not let you, yourself thinks that you are always what people wants.
You can't be a millionaire if you have no money.
You can't be a casanova if you have no looks.

Be small is to have a limit to yourself, so that you won't be arrogant to people.
Your looks does not determine others but your heart does.
So why be big if you have nothing ?

This is a long post, yes it is.

Sorry to make you guys bored.

What for if you have everything but you don't have love ?
It does not seem right, don't you think so ?
Where has everything gone to ? Why isn't there anyone who valued people ?
World oh World, why ?
People why oh why ?

Now a days, people change so fast.
People are forgetting about something so precious in life.
People valued money more than love.
People wants looks more than kindness.
What's happening people ? Where's your heart ?
The precious thing in life, is gone.

i'm just your close friend,
can't be more than that i suppose,
you want to run away,
but you told me that you're not running away from me,
but what if you do that,
i told you to tell me before you do that,
is to let me prepare,
prepare to lose someone i love the most.

i try to be perfect but i just can't,
i can't even reach for your love,
the worst is,
i can't reach for you,
who am i to you anyway.

i'll always be there for you,
i'll always love you,
finally i will always,
wait for you,
how long will it takes,
it doesn't matters now.

everything is because,
iloveyousomuch,
deep down inside it cries just for you,
hoping it was true.

Keep whining for nothing it just won't work.
It can't fix anything.
But you cry because you can't find any solution to the problem.
So it's better you shut yourself down and press the explotion button.

How will people be, if in the world people have no feelings ?
It just turn worse.

I'm sinking, seeing abang like that.

I'm drowning, seeing Ain like that.

I'm drowning even deeper, seeing myself this way.

open your heart, give it another chance.

Let me cry in pain all alone because i don't want bother anyone.
Trust me, i'll be fine after that.
Today will be well spend with abang.
Wipe away all your tears because i'm here.

It's 3.19am and babyboyy♥ is already asleep.
Everyone in this family is also soundly asleep.
Manje is snuggling with my blanket.
Why just i can't get in bed ?

imissyou, because i'm kental.

bring me closer to youu and pull me in, boyy.

p/s: betapa aku mencintai mu.

"iwalkoutfromthecafeandseeit'sraining,becausethisheartcriesariverforyou,itmissesyoutoomuch"

2009-11-01T16:20:00.002+08:00

Meaningful lyrics,

We can go anywhere, go anywhere.
But first it's your chance.
Take my hand, come with me.
Its like i waited my whole life.
For this one night, it's going to be me you and the dance floor.
Cause we ONLY got one night.
And dance forever ever ever.
Feels like we are on another level.
Feels like our loves intertwine.
We can be two rebel.
Breaking the rules.
Me and you, you and i.
All you got to do is watch me.
Look what can i do with my feet, baby.
Feel the beat inside.
Just need you to trust me, boy boy boy.
Its a long way down, we so high off the ground.
Sending for an angel to bring me your heart.
Boy, where did you come from ?
Got me so undone.
No ifs and maybes, im realising my heart.
And its feeling amazing.
There's no one else that matters.
You love me and i won't let you fall boy.

I need you, boo.
I got to see you, boo.
And the hearts all over the world tonight.
Said the hearts all over the world tonight.
And i'm so glad to be yours.
You're a class all your own and.
Oh, little cutie, when you talk to me.
I swear the whole world stops, you're my sweetheart.
And i'm so glad that you are mine.
You are one of a kind and.
You mean to me what i mean to you and.
Together baby, there is nothing we won't do.
Cause if i got you, i don't need money.
I don't need cars, boy you're my all.
And, OH.
I'm into you, and boy no one else would do.
Cause with every kiss and every hug.
You make me fall in love and now i.
Know i can't be the only one.
I bet there hearts all over the world tonight,
With the love of they life who feel, what i feel when i'm.
With you.
Boy, with you.
I don't want nobody else, without you.
There's no one left then.
And i, will never try to deny.
That you're my whole life, cause if you ever let me go.
I would die.
So i won't front, i don't need another man.
I just need your all and nothing.
Cause if i got that, then i'll be straight.
Baby, you're the best part of my day.

(:

happy ? YES !

Justin Bieber is HOT.

p/s: one time.

"causeofyouimove"

2009-10-27T01:35:00.003+08:00

Wonderwoman needs to Wonder off,

tick tock, tick tock the mice went up the clock.
It's 2.35am and i'm still awake, finding my lost biscuits.
It has drop bit by pieces, somebody please help me find it cause i'm hungry.

Lost by a jungle and everything is untaggle.

Time goes by so fast, how i wish you could even last.

Missing you felt like i was losing you.

If you can't see me, turn around and looked at me.

The matches do shine, so do the moon.

You stole my keys to my heart.

Say what you mean and mean it when you say it.

Phrases ? More in my mind.
But heyy, it's tired to produce more for this blog.
Jam in the middle of the ' go ' button.
So sit back and relaxs.

Somethings inside this mind just want to be free.

Sitting in the couch, reviewing the past.
The aimless love, shattered in the end.
Bringing a cup of coffee, full of sorrow.
Beside a box of tissue, tears dripping slowly.
Pictures which are torn, makes her cries even harder.
The pieces of the pictures was burned, along with the heart which breaks into pieces.
Walking away, leaving the past behind.
Pulling those heavy luggage, pulling her away from him.
More steps taken, reminds her of how he moved on with other women.
Stopped and put the luggage down, turn and looked at the house for the last time.
Begging inside, that he would stay.
Continued and proceed on to her car, thinking that she should move on too.
She closed the car door and starts the engine, it's weird that she heard a knock.
Turned and look, her ex was standing there.
Looked cold and freeze with the weather, opened the door.
She asked him what brings him here, he looked in her eyes and said.
" This heart leads me to where you are. "
She looked away, holding her couple ring and said.
" I don't need a guy who is a player. "
Opened his hand, give the ring back while he was in a shocked.
She closed her door, starts the car and set off.
Leaving him behind, with the house and ring.
He goes back to the house, searched for the pictures.
It was gone, she didn't left any thing behind.
He sat down on the couch, heard a car stopped.
The door opened, footsteps coming into the living room.
He turned, saw her crying and he run towards her.
Give a hug, asking her why she come back.
She looked at him, and replied with tears.
" Because my heart loves you, how can it even get away from you ? "

Baaaaaah~ My story is so emotional.
Fuck, how can i even came out with this kind of story.
I'm already like a nanny who tells stories to her grandchildrens.
Ok supper time is over, time for bed.

Dragging this legs, bringing it to another place to wash up.
Still finding those pieces of biscuit and looking for food.
Holding a torch light and telling myself to just give up.
So i did give up for the searching part and proceed to the toilet activities.
HAHAHHAHA ! Kiwaaaaak !!
I better log off soon everything before i speak in dilect English.

HAHAHAH !

Cookies and milk, any monster ?

p/s: can't win.

"slipperswithoutsizeislikeheartwithoutlove"

2009-10-25T19:17:00.002+08:00

Mangkok sendiri,

Heartache : emotional pain or distress; sorrow; grief; anguish.

So, it's HEARTACHING MOMENT TODAY.

It is so fine before this but now semuanya da jadi MANGKOK TINGKAT !
I mean it eyy and it's not funny.

OUUUUUH FUCK BITCH !

I hate Sundays and TODAY, 25th October 2009 !

Swear i mean it.

another second round for youu,
going for her boyy,
she wants youu and i know,
youu want her too,
just that youu can't choose,
be with her ?

i shouldn't have put a little hope(S) on youu.
i don't want anyone to be hurt.
i don't want nomore, triangle love boyy.
yes, i love youu but if you love her.
go boyy.
leave me.

I'm crying, typing each letter of these post.
Actually, i don't want any GOODBYES.
This heart long for youu.

So emotional, how now ?

RUMAH DAH JADI MANGKOK TINGKAT, DUNIA NAK KIAMAT KE ?

p/s: turn around.

"youu,youu,youu,iswhatthisheartwants"

2009-10-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

Happy, Excited, Maybe.

Should i blog it out, must i tell ?
Must i say that, " i'm happy for a reason ? ".
Or should i just keep it to myself ?

Must i, wish you for today ?
God, it's like 24th.
24th.

Don't want to end it like last time.
Maybe later, i'll text you.

By the way,

Happy 1 month friendship to babyboyy♥ !

It's the 1 month of friendship where we are real close with each other.

First time rapat, kecoooh uhh tu mat.

Hope this friendship last long until you're old.

He's a great friend man.

ok done, i'm happy but angry.
SAKIT, SICK !

Very sore uhh this throat, can kill it anyone ?

p/s: HAPPY.

"whereareyourlaughtertomakemelaugh,boyy?"

2009-10-20T15:20:00.003+08:00

When is the time,

Love is a important role in relationship.
Without love, you won't have those feelings.
With love, you can decide things or situations.
This does not occurs on relationships only with the one's you love too.

So, touch your heart and ask.
Do you love that someone even they had made a big mistakes ?
Do you love that someone so much and willing to give them another chance ?
And it's all about how much you love them and how much you can endure those risks.
The heart is the best answer to all of your questions and it's not the mind.

When your're doing things, you put in your heart and soul first not mind.
So tell me, if you people were to judge people who made mistakes what will you get ?
And you love them so much but you never give them a chance, how would you know they change ?
Love is strong.
It conquers your emotions, mindset and your movements.

To those who can't fix your realationship or ex's problems just remember this, touch your heart and ask yourself.
Your heart will answer everything.

youu were given another chance,
will you take it,
i know youu love her,
so why won't you take her back,
people do make mistakes,
but i want youu to know,
whatever happens,
i'll still wait for youu and love.

i myself breaking down now.
Should let a butterfly go whereas i don't want too.
What else must i do if it wasn't to let go ?

boyy, i'llbewaiting.

p/s: don't remember me.

"keepthatinyourheartthatiactuallyloveyouu"

2009-10-18T18:34:00.002+08:00

Bahagia dan Sedih,

Today watch floorballers played in the league. Damn.
Scary ok, long time never step in the court.
But hey, i'm busy already.
(:

Hope Nana's leg is fine by tomorrow.
Must sent her tomorrow, i don't care.
And don't pressure yourself aye, love ?

Went slacking with Faz-molek and Nana Ozu.
Talk, laugh and yeaaaa.
I forgot how to sing that song seyy, nana.

TSK !

I had real fun with this two ok but Elyssa is missing somehow.

" ke mana kau menghilangkan diri oh sotong ? "

HAHAHAH !

Make sure another outing i want Elyssa, Faz-mal and Nana to be there.
Die die uhh, fii tak kisah !

Next stop, i feel so i don't know.
HAHAH !
I want tomorrow outing to be something.

dan aku tahu,
aku tidak akan dapat mu,
sejauh mana ku pergi,
kau seperti langit dan aku seperti bumi,
ku tidak dapat capai mu,
ataupun cinta mu,
ku tak akan memilikki mu,
kerana hati mu.
tiada di sini.

jika di beri bintang, bulan dan kamu,
ku akan tetap pilih kamu.

hadiah ku bukan kamu,
tetapi cinta mulia mu.

jika ku harus pilih harta atau cinta,
ku akan pilih cinta,
dan bukan cinta biasa,
cinta dari diri mu.

and finally, i'm out of words.
It's more than words could describe this feelings.

lastly, uoyevoli.

p/s: asmara.

"youandyouu"

2009-10-17T16:20:00.002+08:00

One look and you're Gone,

Not even 30 minutes i met youu yesterday.
Maybe youu need to go because you got something on, i don't really mind.
But i mind is that, whyy can't i tell youu that i miss youu ?
Youu look handsome and cute in that new hair cut.
i miss being with youu.

how badly i miss youu,
i know i need to endure,
you're starting work today or soon,
so am i,
i must not focus on youu only,
even if i do love youu,
tell me do youu even care about me,
i miss you so much,
so much until,
i cried and cried,
can i have another night spent with youu,
i won't find youu now,
i want to see whether you're finding me or not.

Do youu even care ?

boyy, you're working soon. )':

p/s: missed.

"therainbowdon'tshineifthere'snomeandyouu"

2009-10-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

TIRED,

Missing,

Hello people/ bloghoppers/ strangers/ readers/ aliens/ all lah !
Just came back from my class chalet few hours ago.
I'm exhausted, i'm TIRED.
Felt like sleeping soon, one bruise ah so damn wahliow !
Had fun, i love everyone who's there and not.

4B i love you.

Let's move on.
I want type this.

I'M TIRED, I'M TIRED, I'M TIRED.
I'M EXHAUSTED, EXHAUSTED.
I MISS 4B, MISS SO BADLY.

i miss being with youu,
i miss seeing youu every night,
i miss sending youu at night,
i miss your lame jokes which doesn't even make sense,
i miss your smile,
i miss your laughter,
i miss youu when your going home,
i miss looking at youu,
i miss staring at youu,
i miss saying " merepek uhh " at youu,
i miss seeing youu smoke,
i miss youu when your beside me,
i miss your smell,
the smell of youu still lingers at the pillow,
and most importantly,
i miss you so badly, already.

)':

Tell me should i tell youu that i really miss youu ?
Really, really and really.

i cried so much cause i miss youu so badly.

p/s: tired and missed.

"i'mobssesedwithyouu,you'regoneeachnight"

2009-10-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

Pictures,

On Monday can i capture a picture of youu, boyy ?
Maybe it's the last day i'll be meeting youu because december is a long way to go.
True friends don't run away, do they ?
Youu won't right ?

Youu promise me that you'll bring me somewhere on December, remember ?
I'll be waiting.

i would like to spent that night with youu,
only youu
because,
you are the one who's going to take me higher.

I have a Confession to make.

p/s: promises where not meant to be broken.

"pleasebringmehigher"

2009-10-09T22:11:00.002+08:00

Shooting Star,

Can i grant a wish from you, shooting star ?
Or maybe make it two.

First, i want meet my best(boy)friend again.
Second, i want an answer from someone.

how do i face you in this manner ?
i miss you, boyy.

p/s: wishing well or you.

"notthestarsthatshinemebutyouare"

2009-10-08T13:11:00.003+08:00

Rain,

maybe.

Life is really confusing for people who are still living.
This or That ?
Do or Don't ?
Yes or No ?
Can or Not ?

Thinking through.
It takes time, so i'm slowly paddling to the end of the answer.
May Allah always be beside me, to choose the right one.

4 6333 86 538 46 663 63 968, ):

p/s: confused.

"thedaysseemdarkerwhenyou'renothere"

2009-10-06T00:52:00.002+08:00

Bring me closer.

Should i or Should i NOT ?

"leavinginthedarkjustscaresmenow"

2009-10-02T18:34:00.003+08:00

ENERGETIC ! *running around*

Chemistry, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!

3 more days, ):

can i have more time with you ?

2009-10-01T20:42:00.002+08:00

I intend to have bad moods when i'm about to get sick.

I'm not in the mood i feel so restless.

Cuddle me someone, )':

"it'syouwhomilike"

2009-09-29T23:35:00.002+08:00

STOMP STOMP,

Hello people on earth.
Greetings to all of the nations and also aliens.
Let me have a little tiny speech for you guys.
Don't want to hear it, press the x button on the top right hand side of this website.

THANK YOU.

I SNHBM was totally not in the good mood for the last few hours.
I acted weirdly and quietly in the way that people are scared. ( perhaps not )
Speechless for that moment i kept thinking of people smiling with chocolate stuck on their teeth.
Marvelous !

After being a while in this cold rotting room of mine, i became okay.
I've always wanted to say, " Chicken Nut Bread ! ".
Also, " doooooh ! " inside joke only Firrr knows.

Steps by steps, little by little i'm smiling with my teeth standing straight.
Gosh ~ finally feel like heaven's calling.
*smile widely*

Chin ups people, today is the day where i'll find war or maybe war find me.
Must go visit hitler's graveyard and mourn for war.
Only with him, that handsome half or quater moustache man.
My long lost husband sia.
Pity him, die already.

Ok now please keep you chin's down.
Physics was a Hell to me, formula's are totally not in mind.
Still must revise eyy, not funny.

Look straight, i'm going to tell you something.
That twilight hero, my boyfriend ok ?
Sokkan please be jealous.

Hahaha !

I'm done. Super hell tired sia, type this lame shit out.

*yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwns*

Teddy bears calling and cellphone is ringing.
Light off and it's goodnight.

assalammualaikum, to the islam/muslim people.
May ALLAH bless you.
Amin.

checkcheckitout,peacepeaceout !

p/s: hero is you.

"turnsthelightsoffandi'lltellyou"

2009-09-26T23:49:00.003+08:00

I need,

I need band members to complete my goal to be a vocalist.

i really want to be one.

p/s: crush on you

2009-09-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

Graduation Day.

I don't feel like sleeping at all. This graduation day makes me feel lost.
I don't want any of this day, i don't want to leave anyone.
Can i stop the time now ?

I don't feel like leaving my 4-B's, it's the best class in my upper sec life.
I don't feel like leaving one another, the current classmates and past classmates.
The friends all.
The memories, sheesh~ )':
Today's the day, today's the f day !
Can it be hold on or delay ?
I don't want any of this.

4-B's 2009

You had been a great classmates which bond together to make a perfect class which no class can build. The hardships together, the starting of the bonding will always be kept in my mind.
Your faces, your laughter, every single damn thing will never be erase.
The conflicts, fights or happy moments was the best.
To my dear classmates, i love you and i hope we will still keep in touch in the future.
Whatever, 4b is the greatest and strong class.
Stay strong and study hard yea people-leh ?
Cheers to us and i love you guys a lot and a lot.

2-D's 2007

Even when we are seperated we are still strong together. You all have been a great class too.
The best kecoh lower sec class ever. There will always be complains about our class.
Defiance to teachers and fights among each other but still we stood strong for each other.
Like we used to say, " one people kena, all kena. "
The wonderful memories together is still fresh in my mind. I don't wish to lose it.
The time when one people stood outside the class, everyone was there too.
How can i forget this class ? It's the strong bonding which makes us undertands each other well and also all of the fights.
I don't want graduation day, anyone please stop it.
People from 2-d's o7 please keep in touch after this.
Stay strong still and i really really love you guys.
):

I miss those times and i'm going to miss this time.
how i wish this could stop, today.

)':

p/s; why bye ?

"ican'tsayanything"

2009-09-22T15:39:00.002+08:00

When you're in my shoe, you'll understand my situation.

You will feel how hurt, i feel.

By then you will know how cruel people may be.

i was hoping dad's gone soon.
dad's leaving soon.

2009-09-19T01:17:00.002+08:00

Geylang si paku Geylang,

Geylang si rama rama.

Few hours ago, went break fast with NanaOzu♥, SZ sister ( sorry forgot her name ), Nana's Cousins at Arnold's. Had a great great time with them, laugh like crazy. Really enjoying.
One word, " GEREK. "

First time got to know SZ sister well, Fun oiii.
After break fast went geylang, walk walk until our legs worn off.
Headed home and i'm here infront of my lappy, updating.
(:

Yesterday was a really Great Great outing, i love it and i love everyone who was there.
Thank you.

Nana♥, outing lagi ok ?
Effa pretty sey !

The last day to enjoy and it's back to studies.
Back to square two baby !!
Must brush up on many subject, waahliow.

TIRED.

Soon will be sleeping, dreaming of dendeng.
AHAHAH !

p/s: SYIOK.

"funfunfunfunfunfunfun!"

2009-09-17T01:23:00.003+08:00

Will be away.

I'll be away for awhile or maybe a month ?
Practicing on the vocal.
Studying for N level.

Don't bother me because i need time.
I'll update once i'm back to square one.

p/s: i need a tutor for my vocals.

"chakboooom,i'mdownwithyou"

2009-09-15T19:40:00.002+08:00

Down, down.

Today, everything seems to be upside down. Everything's not fine.
So pissed, so dissapointed. Can you hear all my cries ?
I was so pissed off until i felt like beating people up.
I was so dissapointed until i felt like crying.
It's all so mixed up, everything is not right.

Let's take a bow people for our shows.
It was so well present.
But too bad it ended up so fast because it's just a 'show'.
Let the curtain close and let's go.
Go on, to practice for our next scenes.
This time round, let's make it PERFECT.

You are no longer here, to save some conversations.
You are no longer here, to save me from falling.
It ended up so fast.
You move on, you apologise.
I ran away, hiding.
Because, it hurts me a lot.
Time to go, to run away and act as if nothing has happened.
Time to let go of all the pains.
You don't want to hurt any party but you hurt me.
Thanks.

how do you feel when you get old and helpless but nobody helps you ?
it feels like you rather die because you don't want to be a burden and you know nobody will help you.
it's just a shame, it's so sad.
your heart shattered into tiny pieces seeing people who are too, heartless.
and all you wanted was to say, ' GOODBYE '.

Days are getting older, tears are getting dryer.
Is summer coming soon ?
I would rather hide like a squirrel when it's winter time rather than be expose to the cold like the polar bears.
I want to hide my tears, my anger, my emotions from everyone.
I'm running away and it seems like my legs kept on running on the running track.
When will it stops and gets tired ?
When will this heart stop aching and start laughing ?
I miss those fun times when i'm happy.

I broke my wings and i can't seem to repair it.

to you :
you broke a promise again. Yes, you never did fast today.

p/s: haz, you're just my notebook )':

"wasneverthesamethisway"

2009-09-14T19:14:00.001+08:00

Just one word, FUCK.

NOT IN THE MOOD !

FAVOURITE MP3 IS SPOILT !

2009-09-13T23:14:00.002+08:00

I need those Happy Pills.

I need those, i need them now.

I need to spent more time with Nurulain, NanaOzu, Natasha, Amirah, Ernie, Iman.

I need this happy pills.

I'm losing my happiness, thanks to anyone who make me down.

Real down.

Today was well spend with NanaOzu♥, it was 'wonderful'.

Thank you Nana, thank you for making my whole day shine.

I'm a happy kid just now.

You make me smile, laugh, everything.

More outing ok ?

wa caya sama lu uh !

i love you !

Nana, maths sessions soon !

dreamt of you, her and him

it seems that really, we're been apart

i always never accept reality because i love you

they were like master minding everything

it's different now, feeling of losing you is still so strong

i cried very hard for you, did you hear it ?

Maybe not.

Goodbye.

p/s: think that i'm refering to you ? go mati la.

"wasneverthesame"

2009-09-13T05:24:00.002+08:00

2nd.

GOODBYE .

no more, ♥.

he's yours, now.

2009-09-13T02:13:00.003+08:00

Missed.

Just finished webcaming with ♥. Ouww like finally sey !
Been two days ♥ wasn't beside me. *frown*
Bloghopping TNL blogs, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ They had so much fun on the outing.
I miss them. Nevermind, stay strong.

Today by 9am i must get ready ! *screaaaaaaaaaaaaam*
Supporting my Floorball teammates for the tournament today !
*biting nails* Gosh, i'm so doubly excited.
Well currently it's 3.00 am plus plus but who cares.
Can't sleep.
♥ told me to sleep, i will. *smile widely*
NANA AND ALL, MEET UP SOON.
I miss them very much like how i miss my blanky.
(:

its gonna be blue jersey tomorrow, GO SPF !

May SPF win for today's match.
Amin.

uno dos tres cuatro, wo ai ni.

Waiting for ♥ to message and call him back.
He's so fun to be with eventhough he loves to disturb me a lot.
♥, i love you.
I miss you like a kid misses it's mum.

can't sleep without you beside me.

p/s: miss.

"whenifallidon'twanttofallforlosingyou,iloveyouverymuch"

2009-09-12T00:13:00.003+08:00

Weird.

Yesterday was suppose to meet ♥ after his prayers but i fall sick.
kental sia akuuu !
Handphone is spoilt, what a bad bad bad bad day. I repeat, BAD DAY.
hmmmpft.

Some people do spoilt my mood yesterday, wish ♥ was here, beside me.
baaaaaaaah~
Emotional sia tiba tiba.
kental.

Hope to meet up soon, ♥.

belo.

p/s: my mr h is loved.

"onetwothree,iloveyou"

2009-09-11T02:56:00.004+08:00

Regret.

Currently listening to : Bukan Aku tak Cinta.
*SIGH*
Why do i ever listen to this kind of song ?
Like as per normal, update blog in the middle of the night.
Rubbing my eyes now.

Do you ever think that i'll still call your name when you come down ?
ans: No.

Do you ever think that i'm going to wait for your kiss ?
ans: Never and will NEVER be.

Do you think my love for you will bloom if i see you ?
ans: it says this, " i hate you ! "

Do you think i'll treat you like i used to when you're there ?
ans: No, what for ?

I still have your name on my card holder but there's no more " i love you " written there.
Not even inside this heart.
I regret every steps i made, seriously i do. *wiping tears*
Why do i even bother to wait for you ? Love is so blind.
Why do i ever bother to love you ? I'm so stupid for that time.

i regreted everything, every last past months.
God, how i hate you for hurting me.

'you did this to me'

Eye is getting heavier, i think i'm going to knock out soon.
Waiting for this one MR HANDSOME to chat with.
lambat sey.

Well, goodnight people and happy sahur for the muslim !
(=

p/s: kau mr handsome aku la ok ? *stick out tongue*

"i'mburryingyousixfeetunder,ex"

2009-09-10T04:20:00.002+08:00

So RELIEF.

*yaaaaaaaawn*
*blink blink*

It's 4.50 in the morning and i haven't had my beauty sleep yet.
Well, laying in bed, turning left, turning right and it's all back to lappy.
(=

Rather than posting shits, let's do a quiz which AINBABY want me to do.
here goes nothing~

1. whats ur name ?
ans : Siti Nur Hafizah *smile*
2. Are u still schooling ?
ans : Certainly, still a SPRINGFIELDERS ! *laugh*
3. what colour do u like the most ?
ans : Black *think very hard*
4. do u have a boyf /ghurlf ? [if yes , skip question 5]
ans : NO ! *grumpy*
5. would you want tuhh have a boyf/ghurlf ? why ? [ if yes , skip ques 6 ]
ans: NO ! Not at this time, it SUCKS. *look away*
6. what's ur boyf/ghurlf best features ?
ans : smile *laugh*
7. do you have a person u like or admire now ?
ans : NOPE. ( what a question )
8. what present do you want for ur birthday ?
ans : Love from ibu, abang, AIN and FRIENDS.
9. what would you b when you grow up ?
ans : A succesful woman in LIFE. *evil face*
10. do u like tuhh study ?
ans: No, i usually sleep in class. *smile widely*
11. do you love ur friends ?
ans : OBVIOUSLY ! <3333
12. list 4 goodfriends n why u label them as ur goodfriends ?
ans : NURULAIN, She's a loveble and caring person who fixed me up and she's my TWIN! ILYVM ! Can't be replace.
ans : NATASHA, a girl who always thinks positive when i need help. MATURED ALREADY! ILYT.
ans : HAFIZ SAIDI, this butt has always been my shadow and advicer ! ILYT ! BEST BUDDY GILA !
ans : FARID, the ' tikus ' face when he's sick. MY BESTFRIEND FROM SEC 1. JIWE BABE ! ILY.
13. do u believe in KARMA ?
ans : i do.
14. love is blind ? YES or NO ? n why ?
ans : Yes because you can't make decision wisely and you'll regret it somehow. *cry*
15. if u're ex boyf/ghurlf ask for a patch up , but u like somebody else ,would you accept it ? why ?
ans : NO, he hurt my heart already and now want to show love ? setupid.
16. list down 5 people tuhh do the quizans
: Natasha, Amirah, Effa, Sokan and NABS.

I'm so relief right now. I can't believe i did it.
I LET GO !
Yes, finally. Goodbye sufferings, Hello to HAPPINESS !

Need to wake Mr Hazwan up.
Now, it's my turn to switch off the lights.
Goodnight people.

p/s: i feel great, better !

"goodbyesenorita"

2009-09-09T17:30:00.002+08:00

It's been so long already, it's time to Move On.

I hurt myself for too long already,
8 months with all the false hopes,
8 months of waiting,
which i feel i can't move on without you,
8 months without realising that you're totally gone,
8 months of unhappiness,
you're gone,
leaving me without any clues,
how stupid i may become sometimes,
8 months without realising that i'm just hurting my ownself.

Today,
after all the tears i've cried for you,
it's already dried,
something hit my head real hard which wakes me up from my sleep,
a sleep that you'll going to be here with me,
those sleep dreams shattered,
i wanted to cry but my tears are no where to be found,
i realised that you're no longer mine,
8 months is long,
a long period of time for me,
to still hold on to a broken string,
a string that will never be fixed,
it's time for me to move on,
and let go of that string,
to turn over a new chapter of life without you,
i know it's going to feel weird but i'll try my very best,
how long must i wait for you,
i can't keep on doing that because,
i have hurt my heart and mind enough,
i can't take it already,
my life has drown too deep already,
and it's time for me to swim back up the sea,
to feel life like other people,
to get out of this misery.

I'll leave this heart which loves you in to the sea,
i don't want to carry it around with me anymore,
i'll throw away these memories into the river,
i'll wipe away all my tears for you,
i'll erase every picture of you in my mind,
i'm ready to build a bridge to get over it,
i'll start to stop holding on to you,
i'll start to stop depending on you too much,
i'll start my engine to move on this broken roads,
to find a better place in life,
to mend this broken heart,
to live my life to the fullest,
no more sadness,
no more you to make me stuck on those broken roads,
i'll find a way to get over this sadness,
to keep on moving without turning back the third time,
you are now my past,
you are no longer my future.

I will keep on running in the dark cannel,
to find a light that will bring me back to life,
to show me what's right and what's wrong,
to open up my heart for this world,
to open up my heart for myself,
to learn how to stay strong,
to learn how to look infront and never turn back,
to love what God had created for this world.

Goodbye lover,
those letters i will keep,
and i will keep on writing,
to remind me how foolish i can be,
to wait for someone like you,
that will never come back,
the teddy i will keep,
to remind me how stupid i can be,
to fall for your trap,
everything should go,
i should leave and close this door of darkness,
i'll lock it up and i won't be turning back to look at it ever again,
i'm bringing my broken soul to this world back,
to let it heal itself,
i'll let go of this senses,
i'll let go of you,
and i'll let go of this never came true love.

~amirulashrafbinredhwan <3
goodbye.
i'll hope you found someone that suit you the most.
the perfect girl that you always wanted.
what goes around, comes around.
nice knowing you all this 10 months.
Lastly, happy 10 months 8 days of love.
I'll stop it here, i don't wish to hurt myself anymore.

CINTA DAN SUKA ADALAH SATU PERASAAN YANG BERBEZA.

p/s: won't turn back for you.

"iwon'tfallforyouforthethirdtimenow"

2009-09-08T16:46:00.002+08:00

Second Post.

I was so pissed off today after social study paper.
Feel like killing each piece of question papers.
I'm not satisfied with it. Tasted like rotten Fruit Cake.
Undelicious !
But what's done is already done-d.
Can't be un-DONE.
But, SETUPID-ITO paper !
SYAITOOOOOOON BETOL !

Before doing social study paper, eyes was like freaking swollen.
Can't even blink for awhile.
Thanks to the last minute memories.
A big F for all that.

Let's forget about that setupid paper, let's express feelings.

ku renung keluar tingkap,
sentuhan lembut angin malam menyentuh pipi ku,
terasa air mata ku mengalir,
terbayang wajah mu di fikiran ku,
ku mula mengingati kejadian 8 bulan yang lalu,
kesedihan dan kehampaan yang ku rasa,
kesusahan untuk ku melaluinya,
kesusahan untuk ku meneruskan hidup,
ku mula berputus asa,
tanpa diri mu disisi ku,
ku rasa jiwa ku dipenuhi kesedihan yang amat pilu,
engkau meninggalkan ku untuk kekasih mu yang lain,
sedangkan ku masih mencintai mu sepenuh hati ku,
engkau tidak pernah menghiraukan perasaan ku,
engkau tinggalkan diri ku begitu sahaja,
dengan harapan yang engkau akan pulang,
malangnya,
hari kepulangan mu tidak tiba,
ku menunggu mu,
dan terus menunggu,
suatu hari itu,
ku terlihat mu di perhentiaan bas,
menunggu bas untuk menjumpa dengan si dia,
hati ku hancur dan kesedihan ku tidak boleh dikawal,
rasanya bagai di tusuk sembilu bisa,
engkau terus hilang dari padangan ku selepas hari itu,
tetapi ku tetap dan akan selalu menunggu kepulangan mu,
ku rela memaafkan mu,
kerana hati ku amat menyayangi mu,
ku berkata pada diri ku,
hari kepulangan mu akan tiba bila masanya,
kerana ku percaya,
jodoh tidak akan ke mana,
ku mula mengesat air mata ku lalu,
mendoakan agar engkau sentiasa sihat dan mengingati ku.

The feelings is undescriable.
It's been hurting me this last 8 months and i can't hold it much longer.
How this heart misses you. It really does.
I know you wouldn't come back. I know you won't.
I hope you're happy and i'll always pray for your happiness.
It does hurt seeing you with other girls but you're no longer mine.
I can't feel that way.
I should learn how to let go, how to forget.
Not keep on hanging on to him or depend on him too much.
It will just hurt myself and i won't move on.

iloveyoubutstillihavetoletgobecauseyou'resomeoneelseboyfriendnolongermine.

It hurts to let you go but i have too, baby.
You will always be in my heart and mind.
I'll try to let go slowly.
I'll try to forget about everything.
But still, i'll count our monthsary and anniversary baby.
Good bye for now love but not good bye YOU.

*heart breaks into million pieces*

Thanks Akhbar for the surprise before i went to the bus stop before taking bus 8 to school.
You cheered me up a bit.

But now, i'm crashing again.
It hurts, it HURTS,IT hurts baby leaving you.

)':

I can't imagine that i'm crying like a small kid now.
It's so ugly.
I swear, it's so not me today people.
I'm sorry.

p/s: bye lover.

"ittakestimeforallofthis"

-amirulashrafbinredhwan <3
i'll keep on saying bye until it's really a goodbye baby.

2009-09-08T10:51:00.001+08:00

SS = Syiok Sendiri

Just a few more hours to my N level Social Study paper.
My stomach is already rumbling.
Scared that the points which is already stuck in my head can't come out.
Sheeesh ! Well if i did my best, maybe i'll pass. Amin.
I can do it.

Right now, sipping and muching while revising.
God, help me.
I'm scared, so scared. Feel like peeing.
Feel like shitting.
But what must be done, should be done.
Well, here goes nothing.

Currently, craving for ' The Shepherd's Pie. ' and PASTAMANIA.
Yumyum.
Can't wait.

Ibu you bringing me and abang to pastamania soon right ?
I love you, ibu. You're the bestest mum i ever had.

ZUHAILI,
kerje kerje ! bile mau kuar sama sama lagi ?

yok kita buke sekarang !
2 hours and 30 minutes left to social study paper.

p/s: i still miss you.

"ineedyousomehow"

2009-09-07T01:10:00.002+08:00

Today's the big DAY !

Can't sleep, can't wait. I'm too excited.
First paper ! crampcramp.
Let's get over it and done with, that will always be Ain's line to motivate me.
Hall, here i come !

Hailiy will always say, before doing anything.
Say our prayers.
Thanks ya for the motivation and support.

Ok, it's night time.
(=

Goodnight people.
All the best.

p/s: n level.

"bismillah"

2009-09-06T13:13:00.002+08:00

MAYBE.

Tomorrow is the first paper of my N level.
Wow ! So fast, too fast.
We are even graduating soon.
Leaving friends, teachers and of course the school canteen.
No more cheap food, no more nagging from the teachers and also no more strong bonding.
SHEEESH !~ Why am i so emotional today ?
Maybe because of the weather or maybe it's just me ?

Well, TO ALL THE N LEVEL CANDIDATES
NA ALSO NT,
GOODLUCK IN YOUR N'S PEOPLE.
ALL THE BEST AND STRIVE FOR THE BEST !
AIM FOR THE SKY, EVEN IF YOU FALL, YOU'LL BE FALLING ON TO THE CLOUDS.

Gaaaaah ~ I am already scared.
Geeeeesh !!
tolonglah saya ! Haha !

All the best people yeah !!

onetwothree,iloveyou.

p/s: N level laaaah sey !

"franklyimissyoualot"