typing.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dear diary,

i shouldn't have love him more than anything.
like mom says, "don't love that guy to much nor something will happen. you won't like it." she meant that something bad going to happen.

and yes,
it did.

how worst life can be if he keep on keeping quiet?

love is sweeeeet.
in another side it's rotteeeeen.

you may think love will always be sweet but your wrong.
totally and definetely.
there's up and there's down.
sometimes your party just get over-bored with you and just want to be alone.

when you know that's coming, you will really feel hurt and dissapointed.
im totally not joking nor making you scared its true.
this is how i feel.

first, its sweeeeeeet.
second, it taste rotteeeen.
lastly, you feel like ypur gonna die for sure.

you guys can only see the happi-ness in love, but you won't imagine how rotten it can be.
im not making this up, but this is how i feel.
2 weeks past going to 3 weeks.
i kept on crying, sadness.

hey i love him soo much that i just can't imagine how hurt it could be.
when your heart is really damn hurt.
when you cut yourself, you won't feel anything.
totally, i swear.
it does hurt, but the heart is more painful than the cut.

for your information guys, from primary school until secondary school i have alot of bestiest which are boys.
i love them?.
yes i love them like a friend.
but i love moree than the world is my boyfriend which is, Fadli.
that's true.

if you thing i love my bestiest which are the boys more than you,
you are seriously making a big mistake of thinking that way.

im not that kind of girl which have a boyfriend and still looking for another.
im not that kind.

i am me.
myself.
there's no influence.
if you think i have been messing around with a bunch of bad people,
i admit yes i have.
from primary school the outsiders of the bad-ies are my friend.
there not bad, they even help me when im in trouble.
after helping they never ask me to repay them.
they are my brothers, my childhood.
but if you think i am influence by their bad habits.
ouhh god, your like fucking wrong.
they did not teach me any bad stuff.
it was me who wanted to pierce.
and hell yeah, last time i use to smoke and drink.
and it was last time.
and don't ever involve my brother in this.
he didn't teach me.
he love me and i love him.

im the one who wanted to taste of everything.
yes, you guys may know me last time.
my attitude was fucking minah.
i admit.

but now, nooo.
totally not.
so stop making out stories.

and for you beloved hubby,
i have explain it in here.
i love you more than my bestiest okay.
if you still think that way.
its your choice but i know, i love you more than myself.

when i feel that your like dissapearing from me, i did not talk much and i don't know who to talk with.
everybody give me advice.
and i just could only smile.
how can it be like this?
must it continue?
is it a must?
im totally asking myself like that, this past few days.

hmm well,
i guess i express half of my feelings, because i feel like tears coming out already.

and yes one more thing,
people use to say im weak, like a child and even they say i just can't stop crying.
and normaly like this.
its natural.
when i tried to hold it, it still come out.
i admit, im a cry baby if you want to call me because i have a reason.
im a sensitive person.

toodles~

& wishing it was true.

the blogster.

Siti Nur Hafizah Bte Musa / SNHBM.
Known as Dummy Fii or even Ketot.
140793.
Single.
Pampered.
Daddy's little babyy.
Allergics: Dark Chocolates.
ITE Mac Pherson.

Other applications :
!Facebook.
!Twitter.

my say.

Cherish others before it's too late.
Without love or support from others, you are nothing.
Stand by to the people who needs our help.
Give your fullest attention to the people you love before you lose them.

Nobody can change us, we are who we are.
Perfections is not everything, it always comes back to the heart.
In life there will always have some challenges.
It's us to decide to settle it in a fair or unfair way.
Life is precious, so live life to your fullest.

~~tune in~~

Plug in to your own IPOD / MP3 / MP4.
Groove to your own beat not others.
Be yourself and stop listening to other people songs, mango fruit !

~~Taggy Board ?~~

To spammers and losers, hello mother freak.
Thanks for dropping by for tagging or whatever shit ok ?
But seriously tagging without real name or link is such a fucking cyber losers.
Get a life and stop bothering about people's life maybe your own life is not perfect yet so make yourself perfect before spotting other's MISTAKES !
Thanks bitches and dick-ers.