Sunday, March 15, 2009
Dear diary,
YAK DUSH !
Today went back home around 2.20am due to yesterday chalet.
Well, Happy Advance Birthday KAK SAKINAH !
(:As years past by, people are getting older.
Getting older ? hmm.
Getting older means getting more mood swing.
Getting more mood swing means getting more fights.
Getting more fights means getting more anger.
After anger it leads to conflict.
And this situation is happening to me and my family.
How great !
Skip to my part.
Common test was ok. PASS !
Like finally.
Mid-Year Exam is just few weeks away. So fast time flies.
How i wish i could slow it down.
Doing the best for this year 'N'.
Skip to my life.
Nothing great/happy/sad/dissapointed happen in life.
Normal, like usual and it is always the same routine.
Recently, friendship is ok.
Find old friend and also new friends.
Life have been so much bored than before.
I need to go out.
FAZLIN, YOK KELUAR DENGAN AYIE !
(:
To abang:
No more fights with Kak Fizah ok ? No more misunderstanding or whatever it is. Because seeing you two together makes me happy.
p/s: tired.
"you were never meant for me"
& wishing it was true.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Dear diary,
How i wish i could rewind the past.
As days goes by, emotion keep on running wild.
I told myself not to cry but i did cry.
I told myself to laugh but i fail.
I told myself that i could do it but i fail.
This emotional feeling i hate, come back.
All i can do is to pray to God and ask what in the world is happening to me.
I can't be myself.
I can't act as myself.
Today i feel so odd.
Feel like shouting, beating and crying.
This mix emotions make me want to kill myself. Fuck !
I so hate today.
Yesterday, you were there in my school field.
Yesterday, you called me sayang.
Yesterday, you kiss my cheeck.
Yesterday, you make me feel like 4 months ago.
Yesterday, i felt like asking you but i told myself not too.
Yesterday, was a hard time for me.
I can't forget you because i still love you. I can't let you go because i still love you.
)':
I just hope one day, you'll come back.
When i don't meet you, can you message me ?
When i am far away from you, can you give me a call ?
When i miss you, can you miss me too ?
Missing you is pain.
When will you be coming back ?
I'll be waiting and keep on waiting for you.
I'll be waiting for you and also your love.
Please do come back.
)':
I still remember the smell.
My laughing gas, Friend.
I need you back, love.
p/s: this heart cries a thousand times for you.
"emotionally hurt"
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Dear diary,
NOBODY can understand how i FEEL right NOW !
You, people will never ever understand how i feel.
Someone who is precious, who you treasure the 3rd most leave you all alone.
Let you cry alone not caring anymore about you.
No more messages or call.
No more hug or kisses.
No more abang angkat.
One abang angkat always make my day different.
He doesn't like to see me sad or cry but now, i hope he won't see it again.
I'll try my very best to hide it eventhough its hard.
This time, nobody can stop me from crying.
Nothing works, untill i cried on someone shirt and it should stained.
My nucleus, my tears, my saliva and the rain water dripping down my hair and its all got to do with liquids in my body.
I told you, i can't stop crying.
Somehow, i laugh but deep inside its hurting me.
It feels totally different.
A close person whom always been there for you has gone his own seperate way.
Leaving you behind and not turning back.
How hurt can that be ?
I don't think abang Amin is crying for me.
I don't think abang Amin is thinking about me.
I don't think abang Amin will care about me.
Feel like going out tomorrow but i know i can't because this heart is too aching to go out.
Feel like crying every seconds.
Im hurt deeply, inside.
Sorry Deena, i can't go out tomorrow because my body just won't move.
When im free, i'll text you and i'll meet you downstairs.
I NEED TIME, LEAVE ME ALONE.
p/s: undescriable.
"one, two, three, im leaving"
& wishing it was true.
