Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Dear diary,
I NEED TO RUN AWAY, I NEED MY OWN HOLIDAYS.
BECAUSE, I HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH TEARS THIS DAYS.
I NEED TO RUN AWAY.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))':
P/s: Sorry for my behaviour and i need brother.
"i feel like dying"
& wishing it was true.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Dear diary,
Currently on MC for today, which is totally a loser.
No floorball training.
Grrrrrrrr~ Can i say, "i just hate it when im SICK!"
Pffffft~
Tomorrow there's going to be another match.
Excited but i think im still not fit to play, but no worries, i'll force myself.(:
Actually, im sick because i miss big brother a lot.
More than i miss my boyfriend.
I miss brother more than anything. Worst, when i cried.
It makes me more sad.
Everything seems dull when his not here.
Everything seems soo wrong.
And everything does not work out as plan.
))':
Surely big brother is going to miss his bass guitar.
Probably, his missing mummy.
He was there on my Birthday at Swensens.
The last picture that was taken at the airport, before he leave us. )':
And all i could say that, i miss you and love you a lot.
How i wish time could fly fast and i could meet you again.
How i wish i was a Jumper, and i could jump to china just to see you.
How i wish i could stay there with you and looked after you, like what i usually do.
How i wish i could go there just to see you woke up.
How i wish i could be there for you to hug like i used to.
How i wish i have a long binoculars to watch your moves.
How i wish i could cook for you again and over again.
How i wish i could lay down beside you and playing your hair when you asked me to.
Never big brother have leave me for this long.
He would always walk in my room when his awake.
And now, i feel odd.
Without him, i feel soo sad.
Hearing his voice, makes me happy.
But i want him right now.
I want to hug him and i want to kiss his cheecks like i mostly do.
I just MISS you BIG BROTHER.
)':
And all i did was just, praying for his safety.
I miss you a lot.
And this cake, was the memorable day.
Thanks to baby and friends.
P/s: i felt sick because i miss big brother.
"no you no me"
& wishing it was true.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Dear diary,
Currently feeling a bit better with my feelings.
):
Just that before i went home today, i burst into tears again.
Luckly, this time i could have a chat with brother on the phone.
Soo glad his ok.
And i know that he misses me and my family soo badly.
Brother,
Stop day-dreaming at work. We miss you a lot!
I hope he'll come back fast.
I miss him soo badly.
):
P/s: I need brother for now.
"trying to stay strong all this while"
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Dear diary,
Firstly, i would like to make an annoucenment that our floorballers had improved!
And i know that we could be better than that.
Secondly, thanks to my baby and doomewarriors for the belated birthday surprise.
It was the memorable day ever after my bottle of perfume broke into two.
Thirdly, mum called brother and hand it over to me.
I try to speak but everything change into tears.
Mummy told brother that i couldn't speak and she'll call him back at night.
I just couldn't say a single word except for," abang. "
Really, i miss him a lot.
I just miss him.
)':
Hearing his voice makes me sad.
Remembering him makes me cry.
Oh brother, why is it soo long?
I really really miss you a lot.
))':
Mummy,
Thanks for trying to make me laugh and happy.
Im sorry i couldn't laugh like i used to.
Without brother im weak.
Soo soo weak.
Thanks for your effort. But im sorry.
Im still not ok.
P/s: Mummy thanks.
P/s: Brother i miss you hell a lot.
"i feel empty"
& wishing it was true.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Dear diary,
Randomly today had my english oral. Which is quite scary in the begining.
Overall, its ok.
Tomorrow, is the last tournament for the floorballers and i.
God!
I hope my team and i win.
)':
Currently missing my brother.
Soo soo miss him, a lot.
4 months please be fast!
))':
I miss Mr Lutfie.
Panda!
Going to miss Mr Khan.
):
Nothing to post. Just that im sad.
Tomorrow please make me happy, for once.
Brother i miss you.
P/s: 4 months please speed up.
"im lost without you brother"
"baby i need your fullest support"
& wishing it was true.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Dear diary,
Thanks to everyone who wishes me happy birthday especially 3B.
Thanks everyone.
I didn't expect it would be a happy day for me.
Thank you soo much.
I appreciate it a lot.
But still,
Brother is leaving me and my family to china for 4 months.
He'll be leaving on the 17th July.
And my family has turn upside down.
More to my brother than me but i don't care because i love my brother more.
His the only one who always lend me his shoulder.
His the secret keeper.
His my laughing gas.
Hope you go and come back save.
Especially the flight.
):
P/s: im going to miss my own brother soo badly.
"i hate 17 leaving is hard"
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Dear diary,
Happy Anniversary baby, sorry for any problems that i had gone into.
I apologise for every stupid mistakes that i had done or even hurt your heart in any ways.
Im happy to be with you. Im happy to get to contact you back for all these years that was lost.
All the empty stories. All the empty sounds.
Until it come up with a voice and a suprise.
I couldn't imagine my life without you,
it would had been dull and unrealiable.
It come up with a sense when we're talking and advicing each other.
If only i could let you see how deeply my love is, i'll show you.
But only God knows me the best.
I hope to have a last long relationship with you and that long lasting love,
that never falls to make me laugh.
Muhammad Abdillah Shah Bin Hasbullah HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
I Love You Soo Much baby.
(:
"last long was all i wanted for my present"
& wishing it was true.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Dear diary,
I don't want to get a fever for tomorrow and Saturday.
Why? Simply because of the league tournament.
Eventhough we didn't win, i bet that we did the best.
Don't boo us. Sooner or later, we'll buck up.
And everyone will salute our Springfield Floorball team.
Just give us time, support and believe.
I don't want any presents on my birthday and i didn't even count the date.
Why? Due to something.
):
Maybe its not going to be a memorable birthday for this year.
But im fine, i don't care.
More things are important than my own birthday.
Oh its like soo, whatever.
Body is feeling soo weak. Very weak.
I hate it when im going to have a fever.
Surely, i will not be in my very good mood.
Hit the wrong button, i'll hit your head.
Yes.
Your head.
Damn, i feel weird.
)):
And oh, Aidil Dhinio.
Get well soon. When im free, i'll go down to that hospital again.
Take care!
Meet you soon.
Friends to stranger?
Stranger to foe?
Enemy to friends?
Is the world changing or is it the people?
"3 more days, anniversary!"
& wishing it was true.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Dear diary,
Today wasn't a very good day.
Terribly bad. Soo soo bad. Damn bad. Worst. Terrible.
Don't want to elaborate on stupid things which happens today. Stupid words, stupid fight and stupid ego.
Damn, how can i say i fucking hate today.
Don't bother. Yesterday was horrible and today was terrible.
Fuck!
PEOPLE PLEASE ERASE THE DATE 14 JULY FROM YOUR CALENDER. ITS NOT GOING TO BE ANY HAPPY OR SPECIAL DAY ON MY BIRTHDAY. SO IGNORE THAT 14 JULY. THANK YOU!
Nobody can feel how i feel right now. Nobody could taste how aching my heart is. Nobody could know how heavy my head is.
P/s: Nobody can make you happy except for yourself.
"regret"
& wishing it was true.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Dear diary,
Today was quite fun. Went to baby's school.
Not just fun but extremely fun!
Had a lot of fun in the morning until afternoon but something change between those hours.
I started to get mad, furious or maybe upset and i don't know about what.
Such a freak.
But something is making my ovary hurts, holding on to my bladder for so long.
YES! LONG ENOUGH!
Like duh , it hurts so much.
):
Make baby a little dissapointed.
Im sorry love.
)):
Tomorrow is Singapore Floorball League Tournament.
)':
Scared and im shivering.
God, i hope we won this time round.
(:
Hope baby could meet me at home before tournament.
(:
Hopefully.
Very hopefully.
This are the people who always cheered me up and make my world goes round. Two person missing.
Abdillah Senior and Muhidah.
P/s: Im sorry baby.
"life is a mistake without you, MASBH"
& wishing it was true.
