Thursday, December 31, 2009
Dear diary,
A visit is something special,
Went to visit Nenek and Atok just now, i'm a HAPPY KID.
It's been so long, too long of not meeting them.
Really do miss Nenek cookings and she cooked Curry Daging, VERY HAPPY.
It's Thursday which means, Fitri is coming home soon from chalet.
Registeration on my New school, taik.
Meeting with Firrrrrrrrrr, HAPPY GILE BABI !
Pass something for AIN to wear for school, she don't even know this.
Sleep over at NENEK house, for 2 days ?
No more cigerattes, pffft.
AND COUNTDOWN LATER !
SAY BYE BYE TO 2009 AND HOLLA WELLO 2010 (:
New year, new school and everything is starting with a new chapter.
BUT,
I'LL BE MISSING MY 4B'S PEEPS.
D':
sobsobsob.
fat cheecks, pfffft.
Fitri if you're reading this, better.
you're being missed by me, so much and don't ask me because i don't know why.
p/s: happy and sad ?
"whenthetimecomes,itwilltellmewhotopick"
& wishing it was true.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Dear diary,
Break it and i'll shut you up,
Look and stare at the clock, its already 2.53am and i'm still muching.
Currently, eating magie goreng.
After this go daily routine, smoke.
Then maybe, don't sleep because wait for abang ?
I eat like a pig ok, no joke.
Just now outing was fun, did cancel my plan but hey i cancel it for a reason.
I went shopping till i drop, actually not me but my jaws.
(:
This is what kakak said, " relief stress. "
And now, i'm happy.
Why ?
Going to be in good terms with Papa eventhough he is seperating with us.
Ibu knows the truth, can't lie any longer about the cigerattes.
I'm proud to own up.
Quiting if i can just for ibu.
Under void deck cats very noisy.
Apek and Nyonya cannot sleep i guess.
Before i end this, yesterday was wonderful.
AND,
SUMPAH, DON'T KNOW WHY I SUDDENLY MISS FITRI PINHEAAAD A LOT !
):
faster came home, pit.
i feel like a lucky child tonight.
p/s: thursday come quick, imy.
"satuduatiga,tidaksepatutnyakamularitinggalkandia"
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Dear diary,
The clock is ticking real fast,
Soon 2009 is going to end.
Soon i'll be adapting to my new school enviroment.
Soon i'll be adapting to my new house area.
Soon i'll be adapting to not miss most of my slacking peeps.
Because soon, i'll be moving out ?
Before anything collide much worst, i want to run away for a moment.
Just for a moment.
Because no matter what, i want to stay strong.
The world spin much faster nowadays.
It gets tougher each day.
I don't want to be a little girl who always cries for such a thing.
No, no. I need to be strong and aim high.
All of this things is too fast for me.
Just spare me five minutes to kill these hatred.
Just five.
If i have a gun, i would shoot myself on the forehead.
And die just like that, without any goodbyes.
Because i don't like, goodbyes.
it's been one month and a day that i've been into you.
and this heart still remains the same, these feelings towards you.
why can't i fade this feeling away from you ?
because i don't want to fall in love with someone.
i don't think it's time for me yet.
but, this heart won't let me leave you even for a second.
this heart keeps on beating hard for you.
KF, i don't know why but i'm so in love with you.
)':
Make this stop, please.
I want go out since i'm recovering soon.
To town, to takashimaya to starbucks.
(:
I want to explore how beautiful this country is.
monday, please bring me here.
p/s: hadiran mu.
"tetapakanmenunggukanmu"
& wishing it was true.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Dear diary,
How worst can it get ?
Well it has already been three days i'm stuck at home.
I repeat, 3 DAYS.
This tummy isn't giving me a chance to go out.
)':
I miss being with everyone already.
Especially, Nurulain, Fitri, NanaOzu and Amirah.
D':
Tummy please be good, i want to go out and meet my sweethearts can ?
so much.
p/s: sakit.
"keranaakurinduengkau"
& wishing it was true.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Dear diary,
Back to the old days,
It's been nearly 2 days i've been seriously ill.
I'm too weak to go out to have a walk.
I don't know why but my body isn't strong.
This past 2 days i've been sitting at home, feeling so shit.
That's why i'm mia-ing soon.
When i recover fully, i'll be meeting you guys back.
D':
I hate being this sick ):
I need to go out soon, please.
p/s: very very sick.
"thedayswillcomewheni'mnotaroundwithyouanymoreiguess"
& wishing it was true.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Dear diary,
Mia soon,
Running away is the best way to hide your feelings.
Let the knife shows how much it hurts.
D':
p/s: fuck my emotions.
"worldisn'tfair"
& wishing it was true.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Dear diary,
Just one time,
Now the time is 4.25am and brother is still not home.
Just finish bakinlg cookies around 2.45am and i can't sleep.
Felt something weird is happening inside brother's room.
It's spooking me out. Fuck !
May Allah guide me through out this morning.
So just now in the afternoon went out with my Kak Pieja.
Went to eat and just roam around.
Met brother near Kak Pieja house and i swear that today was fun.
Not just fun but a memorable one too.
Gosh, i miss Kak Pieja already now.
I'm scared now, alone in the living room whereas the rest is soundly asleep.
Just that brother isn't home yet. I'm so scared right now.
So spooky, ya allah.
Cepat lah balek abang ! :/
feat. Kak Pieja
all of this is nice.
feat. Abang
Now, i'm inside my room hoping brother would come home soon.
This is so spooky.
I'm shivering now because of too scared.
abang faster !
p/s: i can't sleep.
"youandicollide,please"
& wishing it was true.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Dear diary,
Because i felt you,
I may need a time break with life and myself.
I need to make things seems ok to me because now, life seem kind of bothering.
I need to get away from everything , i guess.
I want to run away from reality but i know i can't.
See all of this is so pathetic.
I need to regain my self confidence, back.
I feel like don't want to meet anyone or someone.
I just don't feel like.
But i want meet my Kak Pieja.
That's all i need, for now.
Sometimes things that you always wanted, you can't really have them.
So why pending hopes for something that can't be there with you.
Why hold on and never give up if you yourself knows that it will never come.
Simply because i'm stubborn.
D':
I NEED TO GET HOLD OF MYSELF.
I'M LOSING MYSELF.
WHY OH WHY SELF ?
D':
I'll be off to see whether life is really fair or not.
it has been days and days that i'm hoping to see you, again.
but sometimes i myself won't let me see you.
you are the only one i want, now.
i want to have you, to hold you.
to feel your love, not to be a stranger.
can i have that opportunity, mr kf ?
this really hurts me when i always feels that you are around.
there goes manje, missing and will never come back.
D':
life is so terrible.
p/s: cinta ?
"danakutetapakanterusmenunggukandirimu"
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Dear diary,
Perfection is not everything,
What do you look in a person ?
Looks or their hearts ?
Because perfection can't go far if there isn't any kind heart in it.
Your heart plays the main role in a person, not appearance not perfections.
How much i appreciate friendship is like more than i appreciate myself.
Now i'm leaving them, the 5 superwomans in Springfield.
Nurulain, Natasha, Amirah, Ernie and Azilah.
You guys do your best in Sec 5 ok ?
Good grades and study hard for the future.
I'll be fine don't worry and i'm going to miss you guys too.
if only you could know how i feel about you, it's better.
it's already been the 24th day, i've been falling for you.
i'll have to stay strong still.
BESTFRIEND SUDAAAH PULANG KE SAYA (:
HAFIZHAFIZHAFIZ SOIDI !
Making cookies soon (:
p/s: bring me over to the moon, boy.
"canyouholdmyhandandblowmeakiss?"
& wishing it was true.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Dear diary,
None is better than one, ?
Sometime things that you treasure, you may lose them.
Sometime things that you loved, it may lose too.
Sometime things that you always wanted, wasn't meant for you.
Sometime having friendships is hard, i do admit.
Sometime having a few, is hard too.
Sometime losing some or a few, is hurtful.
I just want you to pick up on my calls, i just want to get through you.
I just want you to reply every messages that i've sent.
Why oh why, friend ?
Why is there some space between us ?
When we are always so close to each other ?
What have i done to you, until you turned away ?
You seem like avoiding and it's the second time now.
You seem alright with the rest but why me ?
Why am i not treated like them ?
What have i done to make you this way.
Why is it so terrible ?
How hurt i may be cannot be compare to how hurt you treat me.
It's way much more greater than that.
I know you could never read my blog but to the people who's reading this, i appreciate it very much.
You could never want to lose a friendship, which you cherish so much.
You could never want to lose your bestfriend, anymore.
You could never want to have a friend turn into a stranger.
Am i that bad, being in this friendship Muhammad Hafiz Bin Saidi ?
Tell me, tell me once and tell me now.
D':
the pains, the cries, it just hurts so much.
i just don't understand why.
there's always a reasons to cry about and my reasons is about my friendship and you.
p/s: friends ?
"maythehappiestmomentslast."
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Dear diary,
If it wasn't you, who then ?
It's 4.15am and i'm still not sleeping.
I'm still munching on my cup noodle and i'm exhausted.
Exhausted from baking some cheese muffins.
Now, i'm eating like one kind of hungry beast.
The stomach worms wants some food.
-.-'
Cook for me please someone ?
I feel like eating laksa, can ?
Or popiah, better.
I'm not going for soccer training later because i need to surprise someone after training.
Muzahaffar, get ready for you biggest nightmare. Ahahaha !
You've always craving for the cheese muffins right ?
Later yeah ?
Just give me this face with this expression, please.
hahaha !
if it wasn't you whom i love, who else ?
everyday, i felt like meeting you.
know why ?
because i don't have your number eventhough we are at the same team.
tell me, if it wasn't you why am i not looking back at you ?
because i'm shy and because i love you, KF.
i've always hope for you to get my number.
i've always pray to allah to have his will for trying to get you.
because without allah helps and will, i'm sure i can't do it.
i'm just waiting for one day.
that allah will do all this miracle turns to life.
it's the 17th today.
and i want to spend the whole day with you and the rest, again.
this heart will never stop unless it gets you and your love till death do us apart.
i promise myself already to love you even if hurts to.
i promise myself already to never stop loving even if you're not mine.
i'm willing to do anything for you.
one biggest wish of mine is just to have you and be with you till the end of my breath.
p/s: the only one i, love.
"itpullsmeawaywhenyou'renothere"
& wishing it was true.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Dear diary,
My biggest wish,
Manje had been lost for nearly 5 days.
How i wish i knew where she has gone to.
I miss her more than anything.
Come home soon manje, please.
)':
Many stray cats look like manje but they are not manje.
Different so different.
It's nearly 16 days that i'm into you.
How do i say this, i'm just so into you can ?
i'm mad in love with you.
but, i won't get you.
p/s: sweetest as honey, bitter as salt.
"you'redrivingmecrazy,canyoumeetmehalfway?"
& wishing it was true.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Dear diary,
My precious gem has gone, missing,
All this years, i've been keeping something precious in life.
A cat who has a heart and a mind like a human.
Who has always been my baby in this house.
Who always keeps me accompany.
Who always cheered me up when i'm down, who always loved me like no other.
A replacement wouldn't be the same.
She's different, she's so precious to me until i don't want to tell myself that she's no longer here.
I will always remember her.
This love will never fade.
For all this years, she has been the greatest cat of all.
She's the best among the rest.
I'm so hurt right now, CAN ANYONE FEEL HOW I FEEL NOW ?!
imissher.
I want to cuddle her before going to bed but now.
D':
Please come back home will you ?
I don't want let you go.
I don't want lose you.
precious gem.
COME HOME !
I NEED YOU, DON'T GO YET.
CAUSE I'M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE.
i've lost her.
p/s: manje.
"allahtakesawaythemostpreciousthinginlife"
& wishing it was true.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Dear diary,
So little time left,
We may not know when's the world is going to end.
We may not get to see or say anything to our love one's before the world collide.
We may not get enough goods than sins.
But still, keeping secrets are human nature.
To keep the feelings and emotions to ourselves.
But, we must also know that there is little time left for us.
Maybe, tomorrow is our day that we die.
And, we don't have the time to tell our love one's any heart to heart talk.
Time is now precious, use it well.
But, people intend to neglect time.
They rather enjoy then being loved.
Put me to sleep and my secrets is safe with me.
Force me to tell and i'll seal it.
You can't buy my secrets like lollipop, it need trust and a lot of trust.
If there's only one day, i could tell you.
I would like to.
I missed robinson at RafflesCity and also Expo sales.
I missed pressing the cashier, i missed the smell of money, i missed packing.
Most of all, i missed my friends there the peeps.
Bring me back to those times can ?
I missed two human who are very close to me.
Whom i love to be with and spend time together.
Who i can rely on.
Who makes my normal day a memorable one.
Note this down, only Allah knows how much i miss you two.
<3
In every happiness there's also sadness.
In every love there's also hatred.
In every trust there's also lies.
In every " i hate you " there's also " i love you. "
It's already 4th december, when's the pay going to come ?
Must i burn down the building so they could pay up ?
I'm going to be a loan shark if they didn't pay up my pay.
it's been already 8 days of liking you.
i miss your voice, your dimple, your smile and everything.
i miss watching you play soccer being the forward player.
i don't want to say i'll wait for you but i'm going to say let's just pray for the best.
and allah knows the best for us.
just one thing i want you to do, stare at me for one more time.
Soccer boys, one more outing ?
p/s: 8
"showmewhattheworldhastoofferforfallinginlovewithyou"
& wishing it was true.
