Friday, December 26, 2008
Dear diary,
There's still a long way to run.
There's a lot of incident to type out and im lazy about it. There's nothing special in life now.
Im happy all this time and now im not in the mood because of one person. A person from my past.
God, i hate this feeling. Why must it be bothering me till im like this now?
Can you run your life and save it on your own. I just need one medicine and its my own boyfriend.
A lot to type and less time to catch up. Im too busy with this end of month schedule.
So sorry if im lack of updates but life has been great all this while with baby.
CHEERS!
I may have a lot of bestfriend which are boys but i stick to only one love.
p/s: rubbish people are not meant to stay in this world.
"there's always the truth and lies"
& wishing it was true.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Dear diary,
How i wish, life could be much easier.
Yesterday, meet up with baby. Study and it was the first time i cried infront of him. I was crying due to my sore throat, he was panic-king.
Baby: Eh! You tkmo nagis larr.
Me: *still crying but laughing*
Baby: Nah! gule. Da tkmo nagis larr. Alamak.
Me:*laugh and cough*
That was really the funniest part in the library. We went to Tampines Mall to buy my bag and sit at the Open Plaza for awhile. Talk, talk, laugh, disturb people and off we go.
I was really happy for today until in the evening i receive a phone call from my aunt, saying that my grandfather was warded at Tan Tock Seng Hospital due to an accident. I put down the phone a cried, trying to call my mum but to no valid. Try one more time and mum pick up the phone, told mum what happen and she was shocked. We went to the hospital to visit my grandfather, God, it was really i can't explain how. Hopefully grandfather have an operation in peace. I love you, ATOK!
Visiting atok today in the morning.
Thanks to baby, who made me laugh. Cheering me up, making jokes. Gosh, baby i love you.
Baby,
you always cheer me up when im down. You will always make my day when it is starting of the day.
You told me to always stay strong. I can't repay you much but to give you the same.
Support, love, care and honesty. Boy, i love you so much.
Deeply, down inside. You're the one. You're the one that im finding to replace over my ex.
You stole my heart and you never even make me cry once.
I hope our relationship last long. I love you, so much. More than you do.
Sokkan, you're still my lovely baby.
I love you ok?
p/s: great time together.
"rainbows don't shine forever but you make my day shine till midnight comes"
& wishing it was true.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Dear diary,
YES, A MEET UP AGAIN.
A few hours back, i had a great time with Hasanah love and Baby!
Met with baby first at the library, walk walk until interchange. Took bus 67 to bedok, i was following baby to take his religious report book. Im soo happy that he pass, his reaction was funny when he show me his marks.
I was giggling all the way.
Back to Tampines and went to library to study. Study for an hour and laugh all the way.
Quite funny though. Went to small mac and eat. Meet up with Hasanah.
Walk around TM and CS.
And off we go, took bus and go home. Baby sent me home.
(:
13 more hours to go to meet up with Baby, happy larr sey.
Pity him, i can't meet him next week due to my full schedule.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Too bad im gonna miss him. School is re-opening and i can't get enough with this holidays.
January is really a tight schedule for me.
):
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~
I miss baby a lot.
i love you,baby.
i'll spent a great time with you today,
i love love love you.
p/s: fun time together. woa ai ni, ok?
"you stole my heart when i was down."
& wishing it was true.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Dear diary,
OH NO !
Im down with fever. I hate it when this thing happens because i won't be too energetic.
And now im dragging myself to the toilet, kitchen, living room because my body is too weak.
My temperature is 38. Ate my medicine but still no cure.
I want play soccer tomorrow but im weak. Arrrrgh!
Let's just say im strong and i can walk to school tomorrow. Hopefully, tomorrow i could get better and no more fever.
(:
Like i've said, "im one strong kid."
Baby when to malaysia and im here stuck at home. Stupid fever, all i did was sleep like a pig.
Baby, come home soon please. Text me, text me.
I miss you.
2 more days, i just can't wait.
p/s: i hate this fever.
"you put me in heaven"
& wishing it was true.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Dear diary,
Tired and Cold.
After training, i was tired like i never felt before. Today's a really tired day for me.
Fix my shoe, went home, buy food and drink. Eat and sleep. A life style of a pig.
Woken up by mum voice and a message. Im still tired though.
Tiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtired.
Feel like sleeping and ignoring my surrounding.
Currently eating Marshmellows and message-ing baby.
The song, Aku Dan Dirimu is really so touching.
Why? Because i miss boyfriend.
):
Going to be sick soon. I guess im catching a fever sooner or later.
Boy,
you really change my day,everyday. You make it feel more meaningful. You thought me so much for not giving up and also persevere and endure for what im doing to aim my goals. You were always there when i needed you, when im outside or at home. You will always encourage me and tell me everyday that i would pass my common test with A's. You teach me to aim high because when i fall i would still be in the highest level.You change my life by changing me to be a strong minded girl. You never fail even a bit to cheer me up.
You're the bestest among the best. You are my superhero among the others. You are too patience when im always stuck at maths questions. You will always ask me whether im having a problem or not. You intend to meet up when you have to go home early. You sacrifise your time by messaging me. You're better than other guys. I could never get a guy like you who gave his 100% for just a girl.
Baby, i love you. Everyday this love seems to be more meaningful than ever.
I love you and i really miss you.
p/s: baby, you're unreplaceable.
"perfection is not what i want"
& wishing it was true.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Dear diary,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FAANAA.
Ohho! Happy Birthday Faanaa. May all your wishes came true.
Stay pretty and cute forever. May you last long till the end.
Hope you and me will still be in the same class !
Hehe, i love you girl.
Boy,
you make me hypnotise. You make my day.
I love you.
Come come, hug me.
Come come, kiss me.
Come come, tell me you love me.
I love you, my gemok !
(:
p/s: thursday come fast, please.
"let's press the enter button together"
& wishing it was true.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Dear diary,
Sorry Sokkan baby. ):
Firstly, i would like to apologise to Sokkan about tomorrow. She was so excited but i had to cancel it.
Im really so sorry Sokkan. I'll promise you, Tuesday will be the day.
):
I hope you could understand.
I feel so guilty about this.
Back to the old date, 13th.
I'll have my same anniversary with Amirah and Nabilah again.
Im late behind them, they're far from me.
The months, its so different.
Im yours, boy.
(:
p/s: back to 13.
"changing the ryhtem of my heartbeat"
& wishing it was true.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Dear diary,
WEIRD PEOPLE, THINK STUPIDLY.
Aha! Its 1.15 am and im still awake. Catching a movie later, another 10 more hours.
Can't wait, can't wait. Aha!
HAPPY! Watching 'BOLT'.
Let me describe how i feel in malay ok?
AKU HAPPY LARR ABEH, MACAM TAK TERKATA LAR SEY. APE AKU NAK TENGOK BLH TENGOK SIA! APE LAGI SAPU UH, FREE MAAAAH ! AKU HAPPY MCM MONYET TERLEPAS DARI KADANG DIA. HAHA MCM TU LARR AKU RASE. MACAM HEAVEN PON ADE. MAMA PUNDEEEEEEK! TAK SABAAAAAR!
That's how i feel. Kind of weird but true.
Feel like stranggling one person to death. Fuck him, say anyhow like fuck i was bathing my hell out and he wrote that? What kind of stupidity was that?
Errrrrrrrrrrr. Like fuck him to die.
He wrote on his nickname, " if you don't want to answer my question, please don't reply my message.. irritating bastard. "
I just want to say, bapak kau peh konek eh.
Your finding fault whereas i don't want to because it will just be more bitter than ever.
Think it over, before you intend to say or write something stupid.
WEIRD PEOPLE.
Brain like shits. Cannot even think clearly. What for God give brain?
To think right? So use it well.
p/s: im so angry yet being patience.
"kau mcm buto peh anjing peh sialan eh, da lame aku tk gadoh eh"
& wishing it was true.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Dear diary,
Making the decision is the most hardest thing ever.
Glancing at the calendar, counting those days. 7 more days to make up my mind. To choose something which i shouldn't. Its not that i shouldn't but im not fully ready.
To be someone's property.
Been letting some emotions out lately. I feel upside down. I feel so wrong.
I can't count on this to much. I can't really trust it. I don't have any high hopes on this.
I can give it a try but im a bit scared.
Scared to love someone so deeply and fall sick for all of the reasons. I need to choose really carefully.
Not for hope and just love but also for future. Im looking for a long lasting relationship and not a short one.
7 more days to go.
And a true reality comes.
Moving on is not simple but flashing back memories does hurts a lot.
I had to move on no matter what had happen this past few months.
Cut it short, i need to choose now.
I found two but i don't know who to choose.
p/s: sot sot sot di buat nye.
"lets dance to the beat"
& wishing it was true.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Dear diary,
NEPAL PEOPLE ):
I miss the nepal people. I miss Nad, Fazmals, Eliza and Mr lim.
)):
I miss them a lot, especially Nad.
I'll wait till 21 December and i'll be the first one to call Nad.
S-E-L-A-M-A-T H-A-R-I R-A-Y-O A-D-I-L-A-D-H-A!
Things are changing, you're not my close friend i see.
I've lose you already.
Well, goodbye seems to be something.
Farewell my dear friend, hope i could meet you soon.
)':
I need Syafiq Sariman.
p/s: move on or stay?
"let this be our last kiss"
& wishing it was true.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Dear diary,
This was the biggest mistake i had ever make.
Amirul, im sorry.
I had never felt this feeling since a long time ago. This was the third mistake i made.
I would lose another close friend of mine, like last time.
I was just a kid who repeat its mistakes easily. I cried, drown with tears when you leave me alone while i was searching for you. I couldn't reach you because you off your bloody phone.
I was crying, crying for you. I nearly lose you last week and now, i lose you for good.
People who are dying to see us apart should be happy enough by now. Im losing you for the second time.
The second time.
I won't let this hand full of love, drown just like that. The love of building my friendship with you is really hard.
I need to endure all of the insults and all, just for our friendship and we're ending up soon. This was not our plans. We planned to stay long with this friendship, to be together in any situations, to stick to only one but what had happen?
Your letting it go easily while im here, crying my heart out just for you.
Hoping you'll come back to me again and always be my friend.
This situation is so tough right now. Many questions is running on my mind now.
Fear is coming back once again. I just can't stay strong when you're gone.
Your the one who build me up with your courage and support. Your the one who always listen to all my problems and lame jokes. Who used to be patience. Who used to cheer me up when im down.
Where had all of those gone to?
To the drain? Into a big bin?
Im really hoping, hoping you'll read the message and text me back.
Im really hoping, you could be my friend again and again without failing.
I need you in my life to stay strong like the others.
I know that im not that perfect for you but as a friend i will be the most perfect for you.
I'll try my very best for you, JUST for you.
When you're gone right now, i could only cry.
I don't know what else should i do. I told you already, i just need you.
Friend, if breaking off our friendship is what you wanted, i will do it.
I can't make things right if you don't even want it anymore.
But, as you know.
I am always yours, yours to keep, yours to hold.
I'll keep my love deeply inside.
Buried this love and think that you're still mine till the end.
i told you i love you,
its true,
i never wanted this to happen,
and i didn't know this would happen today,
you left me,
hanging alone,
searching for you,
high and low,
but,
you're no where to be found,
boy,
i love you,
i need you,
i miss you,
i only had your last kiss on my cheecks,
and you're gone,
dissapear into thin air.
Boy, if i was the one who created all of this, im sorry.
I only had your last kiss on my cheecks and you're gone.
Maybe, i wasn't perfect enough to be your friend.
p/s: under pressure.
"uoy evol i"
& wishing it was true.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Dear diary,
Should it END fast?
1 December was supposingly to be a special day for me and my close friend but everything was a mess.
It was our 1 month anniversary of Friendship.
Instead of going out together having our favourite time, we fought a lot.
Until we were nearly losing each other.
We were nearly losing our friendship which we cherish a lot.
What had i done to lose someone special like you?
I cherish our friendship from the begining but end up, we fought for stupid mistakes.
Mistakes which can break us apart.
Mistakes which make me pour.
I wasn't really ready for losing you as my friend.
Thats why, i give in a lot of time.
I knew you give in too but it was not enough.
Im sorry for every mistakes that i've done.
Anything which could hurt you.
Anyways,
Happy 1 month friendship anniversary.
This mad brother of mine is home at last.
i love you to the core gundu.
never leave me again.
i was crying and crying,
i love you,
i don't want to lose you,
but,
you were having a bad day with me,
im sorry.
p/s: making another better way for meeting you.
"mistakes is always a mistakes"
& wishing it was true.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Dear diary,
Something is wrong.
Seeing my coach typing all of his thoughts and feeling was really sad.
He never felt that dissapointed before.
I guess all the team members had done a mistakes.
Im not that brave enough to go up to him and say, "sorry".
But behalf of the team i would like to apologize.
I don't like seeing my coach dissapointed like this.
I really felt so wrong.
I hope my team and i could redo every mistakes to make our coach a happy coach.
Im sorry, coach.
p/s: never to do it again.
"believing i can do it"
& wishing it was true.
