Hello people on earth.
Greetings to all of the nations and also aliens.
Let me have a little tiny speech for you guys.
Don't want to hear it, press the x button on the top right hand side of this website.

I SNHBM was totally not in the good mood for the last few hours.
I acted weirdly and quietly in the way that people are scared. ( perhaps not )
Speechless for that moment i kept thinking of people smiling with chocolate stuck on their teeth.
Marvelous !

After being a while in this cold rotting room of mine, i became okay.
I've always wanted to say, " Chicken Nut Bread ! ".
Also, " doooooh ! " inside joke only Firrr knows.

Steps by steps, little by little i'm smiling with my teeth standing straight.
Gosh ~ finally feel like heaven's calling.
*smile widely*

Chin ups people, today is the day where i'll find war or maybe war find me.
Must go visit hitler's graveyard and mourn for war.
Only with him, that handsome half or quater moustache man.
My long lost husband sia.
Pity him, die already.

Ok now please keep you chin's down.
Physics was a Hell to me, formula's are totally not in mind.
Still must revise eyy, not funny.

Look straight, i'm going to tell you something.
That twilight hero, my boyfriend ok ?
Sokkan please be jealous.

Hahaha !

I'm done. Super hell tired sia, type this lame shit out.
Teddy bears calling and cellphone is ringing.
Light off and it's goodnight.

assalammualaikum, to the islam/muslim people.
May ALLAH bless you.
Amin.


p/s: hero is you.

"turnsthelightsoffandi'lltellyou"

I need,

I don't feel like sleeping at all. This graduation day makes me feel lost.
I don't want any of this day, i don't want to leave anyone.
Can i stop the time now ?

I don't feel like leaving my 4-B's, it's the best class in my upper sec life.
I don't feel like leaving one another, the current classmates and past classmates.
The friends all.
The memories, sheesh~ )':
Today's the day, today's the f day !
Can it be hold on or delay ?
I don't want any of this.

4-B's 2009

You had been a great classmates which bond together to make a perfect class which no class can build. The hardships together, the starting of the bonding will always be kept in my mind.
Your faces, your laughter, every single damn thing will never be erase.
The conflicts, fights or happy moments was the best.
To my dear classmates, i love you and i hope we will still keep in touch in the future.
Whatever, 4b is the greatest and strong class.
Stay strong and study hard yea people-leh ?
Cheers to us and i love you guys a lot and a lot.


2-D's 2007

Even when we are seperated we are still strong together. You all have been a great class too.
The best kecoh lower sec class ever. There will always be complains about our class.
Defiance to teachers and fights among each other but still we stood strong for each other.
Like we used to say, " one people kena, all kena. "
The wonderful memories together is still fresh in my mind. I don't wish to lose it.
The time when one people stood outside the class, everyone was there too.
How can i forget this class ? It's the strong bonding which makes us undertands each other well and also all of the fights.
I don't want graduation day, anyone please stop it.
People from 2-d's o7 please keep in touch after this.
Stay strong still and i really really love you guys.
):

I miss those times and i'm going to miss this time.
how i wish this could stop, today.

)':

p/s; why bye ?

"ican'tsayanything"

i was hoping dad's gone soon.
dad's leaving soon.

Few hours ago, went break fast with NanaOzu♥, SZ sister ( sorry forgot her name ), Nana's Cousins at Arnold's. Had a great great time with them, laugh like crazy. Really enjoying.
One word, " GEREK. "

First time got to know SZ sister well, Fun oiii.
After break fast went geylang, walk walk until our legs worn off.
Headed home and i'm here infront of my lappy, updating.
(:

Yesterday was a really Great Great outing, i love it and i love everyone who was there.
Thank you.

Nana♥, outing lagi ok ?
Effa pretty sey !

The last day to enjoy and it's back to studies.
Back to square two baby !!
Must brush up on many subject, waahliow.

TIRED.

Soon will be sleeping, dreaming of dendeng.
AHAHAH !

p/s: SYIOK.

"funfunfunfunfunfunfun!"

I'll be away for awhile or maybe a month ?
Practicing on the vocal.
Studying for N level.

Don't bother me because i need time.
I'll update once i'm back to square one.

p/s: i need a tutor for my vocals.

"chakboooom,i'mdownwithyou"

Down, down.

Today, everything seems to be upside down. Everything's not fine.
So pissed, so dissapointed. Can you hear all my cries ?
I was so pissed off until i felt like beating people up.
I was so dissapointed until i felt like crying.
It's all so mixed up, everything is not right.

Let's take a bow people for our shows.
It was so well present.
But too bad it ended up so fast because it's just a 'show'.
Let the curtain close and let's go.
Go on, to practice for our next scenes.
This time round, let's make it PERFECT.

You are no longer here, to save some conversations.
You are no longer here, to save me from falling.
It ended up so fast.
You move on, you apologise.
I ran away, hiding.
Because, it hurts me a lot.
Time to go, to run away and act as if nothing has happened.
Time to let go of all the pains.
You don't want to hurt any party but you hurt me.
Thanks.

how do you feel when you get old and helpless but nobody helps you ?
it feels like you rather die because you don't want to be a burden and you know nobody will help you.
it's just a shame, it's so sad.
your heart shattered into tiny pieces seeing people who are too, heartless.
and all you wanted was to say, ' GOODBYE '.

Days are getting older, tears are getting dryer.
Is summer coming soon ?
I would rather hide like a squirrel when it's winter time rather than be expose to the cold like the polar bears.
I want to hide my tears, my anger, my emotions from everyone.
I'm running away and it seems like my legs kept on running on the running track.
When will it stops and gets tired ?
When will this heart stop aching and start laughing ?
I miss those fun times when i'm happy.

I broke my wings and i can't seem to repair it.

to you :
you broke a promise again. Yes, you never did fast today.

p/s: haz, you're just my notebook )':

"wasneverthesamethisway"

I need those Happy Pills.

Missed.

Just finished webcaming with ♥. Ouww like finally sey !
Been two days ♥ wasn't beside me. *frown*
Bloghopping TNL blogs, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ They had so much fun on the outing.
I miss them. Nevermind, stay strong.

Today by 9am i must get ready ! *screaaaaaaaaaaaaam*
Supporting my Floorball teammates for the tournament today !
*biting nails* Gosh, i'm so doubly excited.
Well currently it's 3.00 am plus plus but who cares.
Can't sleep.
♥ told me to sleep, i will. *smile widely*
NANA AND ALL, MEET UP SOON.
I miss them very much like how i miss my blanky.
(:


its gonna be blue jersey tomorrow, GO SPF !

May SPF win for today's match.
Amin.


Waiting for ♥ to message and call him back.
He's so fun to be with eventhough he loves to disturb me a lot.
♥, i love you.
I miss you like a kid misses it's mum.



can't sleep without you beside me.

p/s: miss.

"whenifallidon'twanttofallforlosingyou,iloveyouverymuch"

Weird.

Yesterday was suppose to meet ♥ after his prayers but i fall sick.
kental sia akuuu !
Handphone is spoilt, what a bad bad bad bad day. I repeat, BAD DAY.
hmmmpft.

Some people do spoilt my mood yesterday, wish ♥ was here, beside me.
baaaaaaaah~
Emotional sia tiba tiba.
kental.

Hope to meet up soon, ♥.


belo.

p/s: my mr h is loved.

"onetwothree,iloveyou"

Regret.

Currently listening to : Bukan Aku tak Cinta.
*SIGH*
Why do i ever listen to this kind of song ?
Like as per normal, update blog in the middle of the night.
Rubbing my eyes now.

Do you ever think that i'll still call your name when you come down ?
ans: No.

Do you ever think that i'm going to wait for your kiss ?
ans: Never and will NEVER be.

Do you think my love for you will bloom if i see you ?
ans: it says this, " i hate you ! "

Do you think i'll treat you like i used to when you're there ?
ans: No, what for ?

I still have your name on my card holder but there's no more " i love you " written there.
Not even inside this heart.
I regret every steps i made, seriously i do. *wiping tears*
Why do i even bother to wait for you ? Love is so blind.
Why do i ever bother to love you ? I'm so stupid for that time.

i regreted everything, every last past months.
God, how i hate you for hurting me.

So RELIEF.

*yaaaaaaaawn*
*blink blink*

It's 4.50 in the morning and i haven't had my beauty sleep yet.
Well, laying in bed, turning left, turning right and it's all back to lappy.
(=

Rather than posting shits, let's do a quiz which AINBABY want me to do.
here goes nothing~

1. whats ur name ?
ans : Siti Nur Hafizah *smile*
2. Are u still schooling ?
ans : Certainly, still a SPRINGFIELDERS ! *laugh*
3. what colour do u like the most ?
ans : Black *think very hard*
4. do u have a boyf /ghurlf ? [if yes , skip question 5]
ans : NO ! *grumpy*
5. would you want tuhh have a boyf/ghurlf ? why ? [ if yes , skip ques 6 ]
ans: NO ! Not at this time, it SUCKS. *look away*
6. what's ur boyf/ghurlf best features ?
ans : smile *laugh*
7. do you have a person u like or admire now ?
ans : NOPE. ( what a question )
8. what present do you want for ur birthday ?
ans : Love from ibu, abang, AIN and FRIENDS.
9. what would you b when you grow up ?
ans : A succesful woman in LIFE. *evil face*
10. do u like tuhh study ?
ans: No, i usually sleep in class. *smile widely*
11. do you love ur friends ?
ans : OBVIOUSLY ! <3333
12. list 4 goodfriends n why u label them as ur goodfriends ?
ans : NURULAIN, She's a loveble and caring person who fixed me up and she's my TWIN! ILYVM ! Can't be replace.
ans : NATASHA, a girl who always thinks positive when i need help. MATURED ALREADY! ILYT.
ans : HAFIZ SAIDI, this butt has always been my shadow and advicer ! ILYT ! BEST BUDDY GILA !
ans : FARID, the ' tikus ' face when he's sick. MY BESTFRIEND FROM SEC 1. JIWE BABE ! ILY.
13. do u believe in KARMA ?
ans : i do.
14. love is blind ? YES or NO ? n why ?
ans : Yes because you can't make decision wisely and you'll regret it somehow. *cry*
15. if u're ex boyf/ghurlf ask for a patch up , but u like somebody else ,would you accept it ? why ?
ans : NO, he hurt my heart already and now want to show love ? setupid.
16. list down 5 people tuhh do the quizans
: Natasha, Amirah, Effa, Sokan and NABS.

I'm so relief right now. I can't believe i did it.
I LET GO !
Yes, finally. Goodbye sufferings, Hello to HAPPINESS !

Need to wake Mr Hazwan up.
Now, it's my turn to switch off the lights.
Goodnight people.

p/s: i feel great, better !

"goodbyesenorita"

It's been so long already, it's time to Move On.

I hurt myself for too long already,
8 months with all the false hopes,
8 months of waiting,
which i feel i can't move on without you,
8 months without realising that you're totally gone,
8 months of unhappiness,
you're gone,
leaving me without any clues,
how stupid i may become sometimes,
8 months without realising that i'm just hurting my ownself.

Today,
after all the tears i've cried for you,
it's already dried,
something hit my head real hard which wakes me up from my sleep,
a sleep that you'll going to be here with me,
those sleep dreams shattered,
i wanted to cry but my tears are no where to be found,
i realised that you're no longer mine,
8 months is long,
a long period of time for me,
to still hold on to a broken string,
a string that will never be fixed,
it's time for me to move on,
and let go of that string,
to turn over a new chapter of life without you,
i know it's going to feel weird but i'll try my very best,
how long must i wait for you,
i can't keep on doing that because,
i have hurt my heart and mind enough,
i can't take it already,
my life has drown too deep already,
and it's time for me to swim back up the sea,
to feel life like other people,
to get out of this misery.

I'll leave this heart which loves you in to the sea,
i don't want to carry it around with me anymore,
i'll throw away these memories into the river,
i'll wipe away all my tears for you,
i'll erase every picture of you in my mind,
i'm ready to build a bridge to get over it,
i'll start to stop holding on to you,
i'll start to stop depending on you too much,
i'll start my engine to move on this broken roads,
to find a better place in life,
to mend this broken heart,
to live my life to the fullest,
no more sadness,
no more you to make me stuck on those broken roads,
i'll find a way to get over this sadness,
to keep on moving without turning back the third time,
you are now my past,
you are no longer my future.

I will keep on running in the dark cannel,
to find a light that will bring me back to life,
to show me what's right and what's wrong,
to open up my heart for this world,
to open up my heart for myself,
to learn how to stay strong,
to learn how to look infront and never turn back,
to love what God had created for this world.

Goodbye lover,
those letters i will keep,
and i will keep on writing,
to remind me how foolish i can be,
to wait for someone like you,
that will never come back,
the teddy i will keep,
to remind me how stupid i can be,
to fall for your trap,
everything should go,
i should leave and close this door of darkness,
i'll lock it up and i won't be turning back to look at it ever again,
i'm bringing my broken soul to this world back,
to let it heal itself,
i'll let go of this senses,
i'll let go of you,
and i'll let go of this never came true love.

~amirulashrafbinredhwan <3
goodbye.
i'll hope you found someone that suit you the most.
the perfect girl that you always wanted.
what goes around, comes around.
nice knowing you all this 10 months.
Lastly, happy 10 months 8 days of love.
I'll stop it here, i don't wish to hurt myself anymore.


CINTA DAN SUKA ADALAH SATU PERASAAN YANG BERBEZA.

p/s: won't turn back for you.

"iwon'tfallforyouforthethirdtimenow"

Second Post.

I was so pissed off today after social study paper.
Feel like killing each piece of question papers.
I'm not satisfied with it. Tasted like rotten Fruit Cake.
Undelicious !
But what's done is already done-d.
Can't be un-DONE.
But, SETUPID-ITO paper !
SYAITOOOOOOON BETOL !

Before doing social study paper, eyes was like freaking swollen.
Can't even blink for awhile.
Thanks to the last minute memories.
A big F for all that.

Let's forget about that setupid paper, let's express feelings.

ku renung keluar tingkap,
sentuhan lembut angin malam menyentuh pipi ku,
terasa air mata ku mengalir,
terbayang wajah mu di fikiran ku,
ku mula mengingati kejadian 8 bulan yang lalu,
kesedihan dan kehampaan yang ku rasa,
kesusahan untuk ku melaluinya,
kesusahan untuk ku meneruskan hidup,
ku mula berputus asa,
tanpa diri mu disisi ku,
ku rasa jiwa ku dipenuhi kesedihan yang amat pilu,
engkau meninggalkan ku untuk kekasih mu yang lain,
sedangkan ku masih mencintai mu sepenuh hati ku,
engkau tidak pernah menghiraukan perasaan ku,
engkau tinggalkan diri ku begitu sahaja,
dengan harapan yang engkau akan pulang,
malangnya,
hari kepulangan mu tidak tiba,
ku menunggu mu,
dan terus menunggu,
suatu hari itu,
ku terlihat mu di perhentiaan bas,
menunggu bas untuk menjumpa dengan si dia,
hati ku hancur dan kesedihan ku tidak boleh dikawal,
rasanya bagai di tusuk sembilu bisa,
engkau terus hilang dari padangan ku selepas hari itu,
tetapi ku tetap dan akan selalu menunggu kepulangan mu,
ku rela memaafkan mu,
kerana hati ku amat menyayangi mu,
ku berkata pada diri ku,
hari kepulangan mu akan tiba bila masanya,
kerana ku percaya,
jodoh tidak akan ke mana,
ku mula mengesat air mata ku lalu,
mendoakan agar engkau sentiasa sihat dan mengingati ku.

The feelings is undescriable.
It's been hurting me this last 8 months and i can't hold it much longer.
How this heart misses you. It really does.
I know you wouldn't come back. I know you won't.
I hope you're happy and i'll always pray for your happiness.
It does hurt seeing you with other girls but you're no longer mine.
I can't feel that way.
I should learn how to let go, how to forget.
Not keep on hanging on to him or depend on him too much.
It will just hurt myself and i won't move on.

iloveyoubutstillihavetoletgobecauseyou'resomeoneelseboyfriendnolongermine.

It hurts to let you go but i have too, baby.
You will always be in my heart and mind.
I'll try to let go slowly.
I'll try to forget about everything.
But still, i'll count our monthsary and anniversary baby.
Good bye for now love but not good bye YOU.

*heart breaks into million pieces*

Thanks Akhbar for the surprise before i went to the bus stop before taking bus 8 to school.
You cheered me up a bit.

But now, i'm crashing again.
It hurts, it HURTS,IT hurts baby leaving you.

)':

I can't imagine that i'm crying like a small kid now.
It's so ugly.
I swear, it's so not me today people.
I'm sorry.

p/s: bye lover.

"ittakestimeforallofthis"

-amirulashrafbinredhwan <3
i'll keep on saying bye until it's really a goodbye baby.

SS = Syiok Sendiri

Just a few more hours to my N level Social Study paper.
My stomach is already rumbling.
Scared that the points which is already stuck in my head can't come out.
Sheeesh ! Well if i did my best, maybe i'll pass. Amin.
I can do it.

Right now, sipping and muching while revising.
God, help me.
I'm scared, so scared. Feel like peeing.
Feel like shitting.
But what must be done, should be done.
Well, here goes nothing.

Currently, craving for ' The Shepherd's Pie. ' and PASTAMANIA.
Yumyum.
Can't wait.

Ibu you bringing me and abang to pastamania soon right ?
I love you, ibu. You're the bestest mum i ever had.

ZUHAILI,
kerje kerje ! bile mau kuar sama sama lagi ?

yok kita buke sekarang !
2 hours and 30 minutes left to social study paper.

p/s: i still miss you.

"ineedyousomehow"

Today's the big DAY !

Can't sleep, can't wait. I'm too excited.
First paper ! crampcramp.
Let's get over it and done with, that will always be Ain's line to motivate me.
Hall, here i come !

Hailiy will always say, before doing anything.
Say our prayers.
Thanks ya for the motivation and support.

Ok, it's night time.
(=

Goodnight people.
All the best.

p/s: n level.

"bismillah"

MAYBE.

Tomorrow is the first paper of my N level.
Wow ! So fast, too fast.
We are even graduating soon.
Leaving friends, teachers and of course the school canteen.
No more cheap food, no more nagging from the teachers and also no more strong bonding.
SHEEESH !~ Why am i so emotional today ?
Maybe because of the weather or maybe it's just me ?

Well, TO ALL THE N LEVEL CANDIDATES
NA ALSO NT,
GOODLUCK IN YOUR N'S PEOPLE.
ALL THE BEST AND STRIVE FOR THE BEST !
AIM FOR THE SKY, EVEN IF YOU FALL, YOU'LL BE FALLING ON TO THE CLOUDS.

Gaaaaah ~ I am already scared.
Geeeeesh !!
tolonglah saya ! Haha !

All the best people yeah !!

onetwothree,iloveyou.

p/s: N level laaaah sey !

"franklyimissyoualot"

Actions DO speak Louder than words.

So what people said is true some how.
Actions do really speak louder than words.
Words are meaningless if you don't show it.
Better keep your words to yourself if you're not going to do it.

N level is very near around the corner of the class.
Wow, time do flies so fast.
Wish i could turn back time to be a better student in class and to be a better girlfriend.
It's been so many months that i've been single and i'm not interested in any new relationship life. If i have the power for myself i would like to cast a spell on myself, to not to fall in love ever again.
I don't wish to lie to myself but until now i still can't move on.
I can't, that's the reason why i can't fall in love ever again.

Talking about love, to people who are in a relationships do last long.
Don't do things that will make you regret in your upcoming years.
Cherish it well and i hope there will be no fighting between you guys.

One of my ex is my last love and until now i can't find a replacement.
His been my everything.
But i know sooner or later i need to let go.
I still keep holding on to him and i still depend on him.
Can't move on, can't let go.

" Kamu adalah cinta terakhir ku dan kamu akan sentiasa ada di dalam lubuk hatiku. "
" Pernahkah kamu menduga yang cintamu tidak akan hilang ? "
" Adakah ini satu ujian bagi kita ? "
" Kamu adalah cinta yang terindah dalam hidup ku selama ini. "
" Tiada sesiapa pun yang boleh merampas bahagian mu dalam hati ku. "
" Hanya nama mu yang tertulis di dalam hati ku dan tiada sesiapa yang boleh menghilangkannya. "
" Kerana aku terlanjur cinta kepada dirimu. "

-you are a beautiful love that i had ever met.
-you are the light that brightens up my day, everyday.
-you are the love that always pulled me in to you.
-you are the love that usually brings happiness.
-you are my guardian angel.
-you are my everything.

Do take note, i wrote many things about you in a piece of paper and i keep it inside a bag to remind me about you.
Those memories are still fresh in my mind because your kind soul, makes me love you more.
Remember the teddy, it's still with me.
011108-010109
And we still counting on our monthsary.

It's already 10 months knowing you.
If only you could see me.
If you could only asked your heart.
If you could only choose.
If you could only feel my feelings.

Second time around now.

p/s: if you could only see me.

"ikeepturningleftyoukeepwalkingstraight,babyimissyoualready"