Saturday, October 11, 2008
Dear diary,
LITTLE PRIVACY, please?
Boyfriend,
Can i have a little privacy? Sometimes, i don't like you peeking or reading on my diary in anyways. Unless, if i said can and sure, sincerely. The book may content everything inside my heart which will definitely hurt you in any kind of ways. So can you, boyfriend , please stop reading my 'special order' book because i don't like it.
Im saying it in a polite way now, not to dissapoint you but i have my own rights. Not everything about me, you can read or asked. Sometimes, its secretive and i mean it. I know i should not have kept secrets from you but if i don't feel like telling you, should i tell? And its not even sincere. I hate many things. I hate those attitude sometimes. Felt like killing it. Felt like shouting at you but im afraid to hurt your heart. I kept quiet. I kept silence, just to see how far you can go. Those jokes about my friends, it really hurts me.
My friends, was the one who cheer me up when i broke down in a relationship or family problems. They are like my second priority in life. The third priority is than you, my boyfriend. I can't tolerate people who kind of insult my friend.
Like what you had did this afternoon.
I was really piss off. She was my friend. She was the one who stood beside me when i cried, when i do stupid things. She was my leader, leader to be strong and i can't accept a sentence like you gave me just now.
It hurts me more than my friend does. I cherish my friends a lot more than boyfriend.
This is the true fact, because nobody can seperate my friends. They are like treasure to me.
Like a piece of gold that can't be sold because of its beautifulness.
Like a piece of paper that im scared to tear away.
They are really preacious to me.
Because i grew up being strong thanks to them, my friends.
Sorry if i had hurt you in anyways here.
Just that i sometimes can't accept what you say.
Im so sorry that i had to post this rather than telling you because i can't.
Today was not my good day and i have no mood for it.
Im just so fuck up today.
Bye and toodles.
but still i love you.
p/s: trying to avoid any calls for the time being.
p/s: Hafeez are you fading away from me? I felt like im losing my own best buddy. ):
"sadness and angryness inside me can't be told"
& wishing it was true.
