typing.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Dear diary,

MAYBE, it was a mistake.

EVERYTHING, was a mistake.

Been hospitalised and still smiling.
(:

The tag name. Cool uh.

I thought everything had ended like it was suppose to.
But, i was wrong.
It's still continuing.
Who am i to side with?
My friends or him?
If i were to choose between my friends and him, i tell you,
i'll back out. I won't choose any of the options.
Im the one who will sacrifise for the rest.
I can't bare to lose anyone in this moment.

Why must it be continuing?
Everyone hates him.
Im the one who always listen to all of your whining.
You told me you guys hate him, hate this, hate everything about him.
Im the one who is aching. Im the one who broke down in tears every night.
Nobody could understand how my situation and feelings are.
People just say, "i understand" but in particular, nobody really know.
How i feel,
how i react before i sleep,
why am i always sick,
why i can't think much.

By the way you guys are saying, you guys are like tearing me apart.
You guys want me to be seperated with him.
Ok fine.
If i and him are seperated, if i had to lay on that bed in the hospital again, don't be mad.
I told you once and its enough.
I have this particular phobia.
Have it your way then.
You guys just want your friends happiness right?
Go ahead, make me and him seperate.
But one thing, if i were to be sick, don't ever blame me.

Im not ready for everything.
Everything to leave him. He was my everything that make me shine.
He had the same attitude with my ex whom i deeply love.
Maybe, it was a mistake.
To be with him, this close.
But, i can't bare to lose him.
I will long for him.
It don't seem to be fair.
Must i end my friendship with him?
Now?

Im crying, my heart is pleading and begging for him not to go.
My mind is telling me that i need him.
My body ache for him.
My tears wants him to wipe it away.
My hands want to touch him.
My feet wants to run with him.
Im begging you not to go.
Im pleading you to stay.
I want you to shine me like you did everyday.
I want you to spent all your time with me, like you use to.
I don't want my life to be as empty as a tin.
A tin which only contain air inside it.
I need to smile.
I need to laugh.
My heart had suffer enough.
I want what i want, i want my love one's.

I had enough with tricks.
I had enough with jokes.
I need my peace.
I need time and space.

p/s: space and time is needed for now.

"im begging you not to go"

& wishing it was true.

the blogster.

Siti Nur Hafizah Bte Musa / SNHBM.
Known as Dummy Fii or even Ketot.
140793.
Single.
Pampered.
Daddy's little babyy.
Allergics: Dark Chocolates.
ITE Mac Pherson.

Other applications :
!Facebook.
!Twitter.

my say.

Cherish others before it's too late.
Without love or support from others, you are nothing.
Stand by to the people who needs our help.
Give your fullest attention to the people you love before you lose them.

Nobody can change us, we are who we are.
Perfections is not everything, it always comes back to the heart.
In life there will always have some challenges.
It's us to decide to settle it in a fair or unfair way.
Life is precious, so live life to your fullest.

~~tune in~~

Plug in to your own IPOD / MP3 / MP4.
Groove to your own beat not others.
Be yourself and stop listening to other people songs, mango fruit !

~~Taggy Board ?~~

To spammers and losers, hello mother freak.
Thanks for dropping by for tagging or whatever shit ok ?
But seriously tagging without real name or link is such a fucking cyber losers.
Get a life and stop bothering about people's life maybe your own life is not perfect yet so make yourself perfect before spotting other's MISTAKES !
Thanks bitches and dick-ers.