typing.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dear diary,

Your another part of my LIFE, baby.

I lost someone whom i truly love, last year. Who i never give up on him until one day, something happen.
Till last week i was phobia about everything again. Scared people will leave me and will let me go easily.
I love that particular someone last year until one day, both of us goes to our own respective ways.
He was the first and only love who really stole my heart, kidnapping the love like food.
Giving it some taste and love while cooking.
He was the greatest of all, he was my everything last year.

Now, his gone and my life was not that ok.
Life started to change fast.
My love for every boy was only half.
Until one day, i found out that one particular boy has the same attitude as my ex.
He did everything the same, the way he use to smile.
The way he laugh, the way he hug me.
Its totally the same.
I was shocked.

He came slowly to my life.
1st, without letting me notice that his there.
2nd, trying to attract my attention for awhile.
3rd, start talking.
4th, start joking around.
5th, start touching my things.
Until one day, i gave him a peek on his cheeck.

We started messaging and i started to found out that he has the same attitude as my ex, since 1st November.
He knock on my heart asking for something.
My heart open and he stole my heart.
He stole every pieces of it.
I started to love him, like i use to love my ex.
He erase the pain inside me, letting all of my emotions go.
I started to forget slowly about my ex, since he was there for me.
He shine my world, he make my day.
I never expect this would happen again.
And now, im afraid to lose him like i lose my ex last time.
I wouldn't repeat any stupid mistakes.

But sadly, we are just friends.
Friends who acts like someone special.
We are close friends.
Not more than that.

Because both of us had enough with the word , 'relationship'.
We both told each other that we are better off as friends rather than boyfriend/girlfriend.
We love each other.
We care about each other.
But,
we have not think about being in a relationship.

He was the reason why i could stand up strong again.
Felt like there's hopes once again.
He was the only boy whom i look.
Who i say, i love you.
Nobody, except for him.

Both of us love each other.
Yes, we love each other so deeply.
But, we had to make our own decision.
If there's fate for us to be together,
with God's will, we will be together.
But not for now.
I have to focus on other things first.

Boy,
you change my world. You turn my world back like it use to.
I will never want to give up on this. I lose my precious love and i had enough of losing already.
I'll stick to one which is you, Amirul.
You made me laugh like i use to last year.
The fucking laughter which makes people irritated.
I love you.
I don't want to lose another person this time.
Because, you are so similar like him.

p/s: we're friends but we act like we own each other.
p/s: goalkeeper.

"LURIMA"

& wishing it was true.

the blogster.

Siti Nur Hafizah Bte Musa / SNHBM.
Known as Dummy Fii or even Ketot.
140793.
Single.
Pampered.
Daddy's little babyy.
Allergics: Dark Chocolates.
ITE Mac Pherson.

Other applications :
!Facebook.
!Twitter.

my say.

Cherish others before it's too late.
Without love or support from others, you are nothing.
Stand by to the people who needs our help.
Give your fullest attention to the people you love before you lose them.

Nobody can change us, we are who we are.
Perfections is not everything, it always comes back to the heart.
In life there will always have some challenges.
It's us to decide to settle it in a fair or unfair way.
Life is precious, so live life to your fullest.

~~tune in~~

Plug in to your own IPOD / MP3 / MP4.
Groove to your own beat not others.
Be yourself and stop listening to other people songs, mango fruit !

~~Taggy Board ?~~

To spammers and losers, hello mother freak.
Thanks for dropping by for tagging or whatever shit ok ?
But seriously tagging without real name or link is such a fucking cyber losers.
Get a life and stop bothering about people's life maybe your own life is not perfect yet so make yourself perfect before spotting other's MISTAKES !
Thanks bitches and dick-ers.