Its 12.33 am and i can't sleep.
Yesterday was a terrible day. The tournament, i don't wish to tell.
There is no use of pointing fingers at other people. There is no need to tell that you can't communicate.
It's was our own fought, mine and the rest of the team.
The lion and the deer? I think we can be more than that, more of the lion and the deer.

After the match, i cried. Yes, i broke down.
My heart ache when i already swear to myself that i won't be proud if i didn't score a goal.
I shoot but its way above. The swearing to myself hurt my ownself.
Why? Because i really, desperately want to score goal to help my team.
To make everyone proud. To let those people who look down on us stare.
To make people respect our team.
Broke a coach heart is like breaking your own heart. I can't explain how i feel now.

Crying was the only way.
Keeping those comment to myself.
Keeping those swearing to myself.

i just want someone to just understand.
not just understand but really understand.
i want to make coach proud but i fail.
the emotions when i saw my coach, i nearly cried.
but, i kept it behind.
showing him that im still strong, holding on to my stick for courage.
telling myself, that i want to help the team.
but, today i fail.
i fail.
i fail to do all of that.
if only you people can hear i shout, cry or scream.
its better you don't come close.
i'll be as havoc as you people will ever see.
because, this emotions is running every where.















Calming myself is so hard.
Telling myself its nothing, is so so hard.
Asking myself to stop crying, is really hard.


why must this happen?








)'''':


p/s: i suck for yesterday, so badly.