typing.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Dear diary,

How i feel now.

Sometimes, it hurts.

Today's the day. Today's the date.

This date. This memory.

This feelings. This mind set.

Im happy for this anniversary. Im too happy.
Thanks my love, i love you.
It seems to be a dream came true. You are the other half of me.
Your characteristic is the same as mine just that, you're a boy and im a girl.
Your love, created another chapter of my life. A chapter to my story book.
A chapter which is fill with your name, your doings and your love.
For me, im the writer of this story book. I write from the start and ends it when im old.
I hope, this chapter about you never ends. Im only writing it in the first page and there's a lot more to go.
Can you help me finish my story book together? I hope so.

With you around this atmosphere of mine, i could breathe more and to feel how is it feels to stay alive.
You change my life with all of your jokes and your very lame jokes.
You change my life by having you by my side all this while.
You are always scared if you hurt my heart or make me angry, i could see that.
I could even see how much you love me but yet i can't judge it first. I need more prove to see that.
Because, i knew that relationship can't last long. How hard you try to hold it tight, one day you'll lose it.
I don't want to love you too much because there's a reason. When we're apart, i don't want to be the one who's crying day and night all the times. I had enough with tears rushing through my cheecks.
In relationship, i believe that there is always the ups and downs days. Without this ups and downs, we wouldn't know what our other half is.

Now, we had a little quarrel about something unpleasant but i can't always say that i don't like you doing that because it feels so awkward. Im not the type of person who nags and control.
Its your choice, i don't want to interfere so much about your habit or life.
You're big enough to think about yourself.
I love to see you happy but sometimes i don't.
Seeing you happy, makes me happy but sometimes its hard. You intend to forget about my feelings when you're happy.
I type a lot and i just wish to say this to you but i don't have the courage to.

" Baby, i love you. I don't wish to see you sad nor angry. Please forgive every mistake i did wrong or
unpleasant.
You're one in a million and i don't wish to be like the past. I seem rough sometimes but inside, this heart
is crying . It wants to say those 3 letters but it seem hard. This heart endures the pain. Sometimes i feel like
crying infront of you but i hold it back. I kept on hearing your musics because there's a lot of meaningful
songs. I wish that you could always hold my hand but i know you can't. I want you and i always wanted you.
This heart cries when it misses you. This heart cries when we are fighting. This heart jumps when you hold my
hand. This heart beats when you say you love me. This heart beats faster when you tried to hold my hand. All
i know now is that i love you and i wish to be yours forever. Hope that we could last long. Baby, i don't know
why this heart misses you when we fight. Im sorry if i made the wrong move but for your information my
dear, i love you more than you love me. Could you stay with me forever with all this attitude? I need you. "

This heart is in pain when you don't follow my advice but i know i can no longer be like this.
This pain i kept, to remind me about how i can improve myself and to improve this relationship.
Those fights, those small quarrel prove me that im still strong. Strong to hold on and learn to be a more matured girl.
To think before i say or move. To think that, there's always a way to solve every problems.
Thanks to all those fight, i learn something about my other half.
Im sorry if i had hurt you in many ways. I just don't want to lose this relationship.

It does not seem right this past few days because i've been following my heart to much.
Sometimes i miss those happy days without any quarrel or fights.
Can i have it back?

p/s: i need to maintain the possesion of this relationship.

"you don't seem to get it sometimes."

" lets count something, slowly."

& wishing it was true.

the blogster.

Siti Nur Hafizah Bte Musa / SNHBM.
Known as Dummy Fii or even Ketot.
140793.
Single.
Pampered.
Daddy's little babyy.
Allergics: Dark Chocolates.
ITE Mac Pherson.

Other applications :
!Facebook.
!Twitter.

my say.

Cherish others before it's too late.
Without love or support from others, you are nothing.
Stand by to the people who needs our help.
Give your fullest attention to the people you love before you lose them.

Nobody can change us, we are who we are.
Perfections is not everything, it always comes back to the heart.
In life there will always have some challenges.
It's us to decide to settle it in a fair or unfair way.
Life is precious, so live life to your fullest.

~~tune in~~

Plug in to your own IPOD / MP3 / MP4.
Groove to your own beat not others.
Be yourself and stop listening to other people songs, mango fruit !

~~Taggy Board ?~~

To spammers and losers, hello mother freak.
Thanks for dropping by for tagging or whatever shit ok ?
But seriously tagging without real name or link is such a fucking cyber losers.
Get a life and stop bothering about people's life maybe your own life is not perfect yet so make yourself perfect before spotting other's MISTAKES !
Thanks bitches and dick-ers.